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no thanks
that doesn't freak you out? she's talking to me about stuff i've never told anyone on this station, not even you.
a persona is a part of yourself, right? like, the manifestation of your soul. it's YOU helping you figure shit out. not some lady on the radio prying into my head and trying to tell me it's all going to be ok if i just let her help
if she's promising the same stuff to everybody on this stupid station, what is she getting in return?
that doesn't freak you out? she's talking to me about stuff i've never told anyone on this station, not even you.
a persona is a part of yourself, right? like, the manifestation of your soul. it's YOU helping you figure shit out. not some lady on the radio prying into my head and trying to tell me it's all going to be ok if i just let her help
if she's promising the same stuff to everybody on this stupid station, what is she getting in return?
Nah, guess it doesn't really piss me off that much. Even as someone with a persona, it's not like all my problems magically poofed outta me. I still got a shit ton of baggage that I'm workin through. And new sorts of fears and shit. Life just keeps on going whether or not you're ready for it.
I kinda remember talking to Venus about it a few months ago. Remember when all the music was gettin all up in our sleep biz? Yeah, Venus told me some stuff about who she was before accepting the Devil in.
It didn't sound like she got anything in return when it happened. And I don't think all her problems went away either. I got the sense that something was blocking her from seeing what she really wanted outta life? Or something. I don't 100% get it, but she's happier for it.
[Hinata... his best friend had Satan and Lucifer in his heart. It doesn't seem that weird to let the Devil in.]
I've been thinkin a lot about it myself. I kinda wanna see what happens if I say yes.
I kinda remember talking to Venus about it a few months ago. Remember when all the music was gettin all up in our sleep biz? Yeah, Venus told me some stuff about who she was before accepting the Devil in.
It didn't sound like she got anything in return when it happened. And I don't think all her problems went away either. I got the sense that something was blocking her from seeing what she really wanted outta life? Or something. I don't 100% get it, but she's happier for it.
[Hinata... his best friend had Satan and Lucifer in his heart. It doesn't seem that weird to let the Devil in.]
I've been thinkin a lot about it myself. I kinda wanna see what happens if I say yes.
yeah, i talked to venus back then, too. she was just like this, really, getting into my head and trying to act like she knows my story and what's best for me. like i'm wrong and she knows all the answers on how to make things better for me when i never asked for it
we all have stuff we're trying to work through, but that's why we have friends and people we can trust to help us if we need it
[It's starting to sound suspiciously like his argument with Haru re: Palaces, and he grits his teeth, trying to figure out just what it is that rubs him so wrong about this whole situation.]
no way. just a guess, but i don't think it's gonna be a deal you can back out of. this might not even be the same thing that helped venus. when has this station ever done anything to help us? it just actively tortures us at every opportunity
we all have stuff we're trying to work through, but that's why we have friends and people we can trust to help us if we need it
[It's starting to sound suspiciously like his argument with Haru re: Palaces, and he grits his teeth, trying to figure out just what it is that rubs him so wrong about this whole situation.]
no way. just a guess, but i don't think it's gonna be a deal you can back out of. this might not even be the same thing that helped venus. when has this station ever done anything to help us? it just actively tortures us at every opportunity
I don't think you're wrong either, man. Like, it makes sense. The only person that's ever gonna know you is you and there ain't no voices or personas or devils that can change that.
And I kinda think it's like. Okay. Here's a really good example. I had a friend in middle school that got moved to the front of the classroom because the teachers thought he couldn't see the chalkboard and that's why he wasn't doing that great at his homework and shit, right? So his parents took him to get glasses, and he could see the board, but it didn't make his grades better. You know what I mean? I think personas and this sorta thing is the same.
Real talk though... we've been here for... what? 6 months? Do you really feel like you've even started tackling some of those same problems you had when we woke up on the station?
Not trying to be a total effin douchewad here, but I'm speakin' from the same side of the field, too. There's a lot of shit that I still haven't figured out myself, and even with friends and time, sometimes I still don't feel like I'm any closer I was than the day I left Tokyo.
So what if accepting this deal makes it easier to open up and work through it?
I dunno, it's probably wishy washy as shit, but even if I can't go back to what I was before, I want to be the type of person that can eventually handle it. And a lot of it's worrying about not being strong enough to protect the people that matter to me the most. Like you, and Haru, and Dave.
Cause you're right. Station's trying to kill us. No freaking doubt about it. It's going to screw us over every chance it can, for like, whatever reason it wants to. If there's a hope that I can do more to keep everyone safe, I wanna take it.
And I kinda think it's like. Okay. Here's a really good example. I had a friend in middle school that got moved to the front of the classroom because the teachers thought he couldn't see the chalkboard and that's why he wasn't doing that great at his homework and shit, right? So his parents took him to get glasses, and he could see the board, but it didn't make his grades better. You know what I mean? I think personas and this sorta thing is the same.
Real talk though... we've been here for... what? 6 months? Do you really feel like you've even started tackling some of those same problems you had when we woke up on the station?
Not trying to be a total effin douchewad here, but I'm speakin' from the same side of the field, too. There's a lot of shit that I still haven't figured out myself, and even with friends and time, sometimes I still don't feel like I'm any closer I was than the day I left Tokyo.
So what if accepting this deal makes it easier to open up and work through it?
I dunno, it's probably wishy washy as shit, but even if I can't go back to what I was before, I want to be the type of person that can eventually handle it. And a lot of it's worrying about not being strong enough to protect the people that matter to me the most. Like you, and Haru, and Dave.
Cause you're right. Station's trying to kill us. No freaking doubt about it. It's going to screw us over every chance it can, for like, whatever reason it wants to. If there's a hope that I can do more to keep everyone safe, I wanna take it.
Edited 2018-10-04 05:12 (UTC)
Have you always had it?
[that's not an answer to Ryuji's question, Dave. but he's right next to Ryuji now, giving the marking a quiet, appraising once-over. he lifts a hand to touch it, but pauses, then thinks better of it.]
[there's a reason why he asks that specifically. and there's no disapproval in his voice, either.]
[it's because he's hiding something the virus from last month left behind on him, too.]
[that's not an answer to Ryuji's question, Dave. but he's right next to Ryuji now, giving the marking a quiet, appraising once-over. he lifts a hand to touch it, but pauses, then thinks better of it.]
[there's a reason why he asks that specifically. and there's no disapproval in his voice, either.]
[it's because he's hiding something the virus from last month left behind on him, too.]
Nah. It kinda came with me after that zombie bullshit ended.
[Again, in the business of not being dishonest or cagey when he's asked a direct question, Ryuji just flat out tells him. He wasn't particularly proud of it, but there also wasn't something he could really do about it. It's a part of him now, just like the memories of the weeks leading up to it.]
It doesn't hurt or nothin'. [He adds, almost like establishing a permission set for Dave to touch him when Ryuji notices that he intentionally cut his advance short on it. He had almost expected it to happen intrinsically, since he'd do the same if he had seen a dark outline of his spine and ribcage sprawled out all over his back like a member of the Yakuza.]
And I definitely ain't smart enough to know why it's there, but I'm guessin' it's 'cause of how I was slouched up against the wall when my skin started to patch itself back up.
[He's still somewhat self-conscious about it, though. He knows he shouldn't be, but maybe the world doesn't need to be reminded of how everyone almost died in such an obvious sort of way.]
S'it botherin' you? I can put my shirt back on. [Slow down, Ryuji, give Dave a chance to talk. Even as he uses an arm to push his body upward from the ridge of the pool and grab back onto his tee from his position.]
[Again, in the business of not being dishonest or cagey when he's asked a direct question, Ryuji just flat out tells him. He wasn't particularly proud of it, but there also wasn't something he could really do about it. It's a part of him now, just like the memories of the weeks leading up to it.]
It doesn't hurt or nothin'. [He adds, almost like establishing a permission set for Dave to touch him when Ryuji notices that he intentionally cut his advance short on it. He had almost expected it to happen intrinsically, since he'd do the same if he had seen a dark outline of his spine and ribcage sprawled out all over his back like a member of the Yakuza.]
And I definitely ain't smart enough to know why it's there, but I'm guessin' it's 'cause of how I was slouched up against the wall when my skin started to patch itself back up.
[He's still somewhat self-conscious about it, though. He knows he shouldn't be, but maybe the world doesn't need to be reminded of how everyone almost died in such an obvious sort of way.]
S'it botherin' you? I can put my shirt back on. [Slow down, Ryuji, give Dave a chance to talk. Even as he uses an arm to push his body upward from the ridge of the pool and grab back onto his tee from his position.]
[yeah, Dave can tell that he seems pretty nervous about having it out on display, which ... is pretty much the last thing he wants Ryuji to be feeling over it. he doesn't hesitate again — he reaches out and touches him, fingers brushing against the discoloration along the small of his back.]
[and maybe it calls back to the way he held Ryuji's wrist, having noticed the way disease was spreading through his veins. Dave, admittedly, doesn't remember those few moments very clearly, but he definitely remembers how worried he was.]
[but ... they aren't sick anymore. it's a branding, yes, a reminder of probably one of the worst days of their lives, but, at the same time, it's. well, he's a kid who's been in the presence of who knows how many different versions of himself and others over the years. Dave sees it as a way to immediately know for sure when he's got his Ryuji in a sea of endless timelines.]
[is that weird? being possessive like that? god, that's weird. maybe he should keep that thought to himself.]
Don't. [don't reach for the shirt. don't worry about how it looks.]
I mean, you're right, there was a lot of zombie bullshit that led to it, but ... in the end, it's still you, right? So, it's cool. You don't have to worry about it or anything.
[which makes Dave a temporary hypocrite. he moves on to fix that.]
I'm kinda relieved, if you want me to be real here. Not like — not like how that just came out. I just mean that I figured I was alone on the virus leftovers thing.
[and maybe it calls back to the way he held Ryuji's wrist, having noticed the way disease was spreading through his veins. Dave, admittedly, doesn't remember those few moments very clearly, but he definitely remembers how worried he was.]
[but ... they aren't sick anymore. it's a branding, yes, a reminder of probably one of the worst days of their lives, but, at the same time, it's. well, he's a kid who's been in the presence of who knows how many different versions of himself and others over the years. Dave sees it as a way to immediately know for sure when he's got his Ryuji in a sea of endless timelines.]
[is that weird? being possessive like that? god, that's weird. maybe he should keep that thought to himself.]
Don't. [don't reach for the shirt. don't worry about how it looks.]
I mean, you're right, there was a lot of zombie bullshit that led to it, but ... in the end, it's still you, right? So, it's cool. You don't have to worry about it or anything.
[which makes Dave a temporary hypocrite. he moves on to fix that.]
I'm kinda relieved, if you want me to be real here. Not like — not like how that just came out. I just mean that I figured I was alone on the virus leftovers thing.
[Ryuji, on the other hand, remembers it intensely and in vivid colors. The island of Khaki. The "what the hell is this-" stated so flatly and stern as Dave grabbed his wrist, and then trying to play it off like it was fine. And then bargaining to have a few more minutes to just be with him so that he could stop worrying about Dave being sick and getting some sleep.]
Okay.
[He gives up reaching out for his shirt. It's sad how into that touch he really is, just a small confirmation that it's okay, even if the words are there to back it up. Holding himself up against the edge of the pool, he moves his arms so that his head could rest against the crease of one of his elbows, nose buried into it.
It's not something that he says outright, but like this, he knows he feels vulnerable in some sort of way. Not that he really believes he's superman or anything like that, but Dave's fingers against his skin and the way it sends up signals to the back of his neck calm some of that. Or maybe... not exactly calm, but manageable. He's okay when he shares himself with Dave, so maybe that possessiveness he's got stirring up in his brain isn't that weird or unfounded.
But just like that, he snaps out of it as he brings his head up again to look over his shoulders. What?]
... where is it? [Because he's committed almost everything he's seen of Dave to memory and nothing had seemed out of place after the virus struck. And that might make him a bit of a hypocrite, too, when he's avoided wearing his tank top or not taking his shirt off to sleep with Dave like he normally does before falling asleep.]
Okay.
[He gives up reaching out for his shirt. It's sad how into that touch he really is, just a small confirmation that it's okay, even if the words are there to back it up. Holding himself up against the edge of the pool, he moves his arms so that his head could rest against the crease of one of his elbows, nose buried into it.
It's not something that he says outright, but like this, he knows he feels vulnerable in some sort of way. Not that he really believes he's superman or anything like that, but Dave's fingers against his skin and the way it sends up signals to the back of his neck calm some of that. Or maybe... not exactly calm, but manageable. He's okay when he shares himself with Dave, so maybe that possessiveness he's got stirring up in his brain isn't that weird or unfounded.
But just like that, he snaps out of it as he brings his head up again to look over his shoulders. What?]
... where is it? [Because he's committed almost everything he's seen of Dave to memory and nothing had seemed out of place after the virus struck. And that might make him a bit of a hypocrite, too, when he's avoided wearing his tank top or not taking his shirt off to sleep with Dave like he normally does before falling asleep.]
i get what you're saying. you're saying it could be a tool. sure, maybe that's true, but it just seems like a bad idea to trust it. it's trying too hard, you know?
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it's only been six months, dude. there's no way we're gonna solve every problem we've had since we were born in six months on a stupid space station. we're definitely not gonna figure ourselves out magically with some lady whispering to us on the radio.
you are the kind of person we can all rely on, and we know it. maybe this is something that venus has used before, and it worked for her, but we're not THERE. we're not on earth anymore. we're on this space station in the middle of nowhere, a station that's willing and able to torture and kill us without warning, or just disintegrate us to pull back on a whim.
i can't help but feel like this is too convenient. it's preying on what we think makes us weak, and there has to be a reason for it. nothing on this station is gonna give you the power to take it out, that just wouldn't make sense. you being here, with us, is more protection than taking some shitty deal
if nothing else, just... wait, ok? give it some time, see what happens. don't go charging into this thing head-first
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it's only been six months, dude. there's no way we're gonna solve every problem we've had since we were born in six months on a stupid space station. we're definitely not gonna figure ourselves out magically with some lady whispering to us on the radio.
you are the kind of person we can all rely on, and we know it. maybe this is something that venus has used before, and it worked for her, but we're not THERE. we're not on earth anymore. we're on this space station in the middle of nowhere, a station that's willing and able to torture and kill us without warning, or just disintegrate us to pull back on a whim.
i can't help but feel like this is too convenient. it's preying on what we think makes us weak, and there has to be a reason for it. nothing on this station is gonna give you the power to take it out, that just wouldn't make sense. you being here, with us, is more protection than taking some shitty deal
if nothing else, just... wait, ok? give it some time, see what happens. don't go charging into this thing head-first
[Dave over here, meanwhile, willingly wore a felt tuxedo around a planet that was less a planet and more a ball of boiling lava and crocodiles. so maybe it's a little less surprising that he tends to favor gear of the long sleeved variety regardless of whatever the weather is.]
[and he seems to think about that for a few seconds, before he mentally shrugs at himself, not as fussed about hiding himself as he could be, especially considering he's the one who brought it up in the first place, and besides, this seems like one of those moments where they're both really trying to share something, and he doesn't want to just back out and cry foul on that. because he's actually making headway on the not-being-so-cagey thing, right? so he goes ahead and tugs the hem of his shirt upward, peeling it off and tossing it aside. a broken record and a pair of sunglasses join a ZOMG.]
[you don't really live the kind of life Dave has without collecting a few battle scars. he's not a swimming pile of ribbons, really, but there are certainly a few prominent ones there. the focal point here, though, is the way his shoulders, from collarbone to arm to shoulderblade, seem to be illuminated, a spread of pinpricks of light, almost like looking at a cloth of fiber optics. almost like he's got all the weight of space on his shoulders.]
[he thinks about it a few seconds further, before deciding to elaborate on them. like he's both a planetarium and the guy running the joint.]
They, uh. Used to be freckles.
[and he seems to think about that for a few seconds, before he mentally shrugs at himself, not as fussed about hiding himself as he could be, especially considering he's the one who brought it up in the first place, and besides, this seems like one of those moments where they're both really trying to share something, and he doesn't want to just back out and cry foul on that. because he's actually making headway on the not-being-so-cagey thing, right? so he goes ahead and tugs the hem of his shirt upward, peeling it off and tossing it aside. a broken record and a pair of sunglasses join a ZOMG.]
[you don't really live the kind of life Dave has without collecting a few battle scars. he's not a swimming pile of ribbons, really, but there are certainly a few prominent ones there. the focal point here, though, is the way his shoulders, from collarbone to arm to shoulderblade, seem to be illuminated, a spread of pinpricks of light, almost like looking at a cloth of fiber optics. almost like he's got all the weight of space on his shoulders.]
[he thinks about it a few seconds further, before deciding to elaborate on them. like he's both a planetarium and the guy running the joint.]
They, uh. Used to be freckles.
[Two sopping wet shirts piled in lumps next to each other, two boys in the pool. Ryuji's eyes follow toward his shoulders, to what looks like Dave's skin... the same skin that's become a colander held over a flashlight, little nodules of light emanating off of him. Maybe not emanating so much as reflecting? It's not like he can discern the distance, and he finds himself letting go of the ledge to stand on his tippy toes toward the edge of the pool, a bend in the bottom that raises upward enough to provide him some stable ground to position himself up toward.
The other stripes, too, don't go unnoticed, as they balance between the light and dark along his body, and Ryuji finds himself looking between both almost simultaneously. Funny how it riles up something inside him, angry at whatever had done that to leave any sort of mark on his body. But it's not what Dave was pulling attention to, as he says that they used to be freckles, and his attention comes back to his shoulders.
So, the virus had left them both presents. His skin had never healed right and turned a morbid sort of dark, where Dave's... lit up like the sky in the countryside of Japan, and perhaps someone else would think it looked weird, or eerie, but Ryuji?]
Holy shit... This is beautiful. [He can't contain himself, either, as a hand lifts out of the water, dripping downward from the momentary wetness of being places under the depths of the pool's meniscus. An index finger traces along a path between two or three of them, constellations everywhere for someone that wanted to look for them. He's trying to find the biggest one as he takes this all in, and it's apparent how he searches across his skin until he hands on one that he thinks, this has to be it.]
Hey, I think I found the north star. [Ever one to become entirely too flirtatious without even trying, or saying some decently earnest and candid stuff as it crosses his mind, Ryuji's eyes look upward, brows arched in a little bit of surprise at everything he's taking in.] Guess that's how I'm gonna figure out which way home is, huh?
The other stripes, too, don't go unnoticed, as they balance between the light and dark along his body, and Ryuji finds himself looking between both almost simultaneously. Funny how it riles up something inside him, angry at whatever had done that to leave any sort of mark on his body. But it's not what Dave was pulling attention to, as he says that they used to be freckles, and his attention comes back to his shoulders.
So, the virus had left them both presents. His skin had never healed right and turned a morbid sort of dark, where Dave's... lit up like the sky in the countryside of Japan, and perhaps someone else would think it looked weird, or eerie, but Ryuji?]
Holy shit... This is beautiful. [He can't contain himself, either, as a hand lifts out of the water, dripping downward from the momentary wetness of being places under the depths of the pool's meniscus. An index finger traces along a path between two or three of them, constellations everywhere for someone that wanted to look for them. He's trying to find the biggest one as he takes this all in, and it's apparent how he searches across his skin until he hands on one that he thinks, this has to be it.]
Hey, I think I found the north star. [Ever one to become entirely too flirtatious without even trying, or saying some decently earnest and candid stuff as it crosses his mind, Ryuji's eyes look upward, brows arched in a little bit of surprise at everything he's taking in.] Guess that's how I'm gonna figure out which way home is, huh?
It's been six months. We don't have school. Nowhere to go after hours. Nothing to do but wait for whatever it is we're supposed to do here. Shit, don't even hafta run off to save the world or anything like that, it's probably been blown to smithereens, or whatever. Where we are, it's like, what, 500 years into the future? Everything that we have is back there. You'd think, "shit, maybe I should figure out how to leave some of that shit there" or something.
But I dunno. Still feels hard to do, I guess. I'm a persona user, right? I said it before. That's supposed to mean you've accepted who you are as a person and use that power against assholes who are trying to bring everything crashing on your head. But it didn't solve anything, really. Still got some really messed up fucking memories of my childhood and a whole factual shit ton of bunky ass shit ideas about masculinity to wade through.
I ain't arguing with you or anything like that. I mean, I'm not trying to. It's just kinda how I feel. But thanks, it's kinda hard to know if people rely on you unless they tell you. Or maybe that's just me, or something.
If the station can kill us at any point, though, what's the difference? If this radio shit and Devil shit makes you stronger, doesn't that just make it easier to like... resist that stuff too?
But you're also kinda right. Man, why is this so effin' hard to figure out? Talked to Dave about it too and he was worried about me makin' this choice too, but told me if it's my gut feeling to take the deal then I should really sit down and try to think things through and figure out if it's what I really want.
So both of you are sayin' the same thing. I'm, uh. Those are the two most important opinions to me, so. Yeah, I'll wait. But the second something goes south, I'm gonna take it. I ain't letting either of you get into harm's way.
But I dunno. Still feels hard to do, I guess. I'm a persona user, right? I said it before. That's supposed to mean you've accepted who you are as a person and use that power against assholes who are trying to bring everything crashing on your head. But it didn't solve anything, really. Still got some really messed up fucking memories of my childhood and a whole factual shit ton of bunky ass shit ideas about masculinity to wade through.
I ain't arguing with you or anything like that. I mean, I'm not trying to. It's just kinda how I feel. But thanks, it's kinda hard to know if people rely on you unless they tell you. Or maybe that's just me, or something.
If the station can kill us at any point, though, what's the difference? If this radio shit and Devil shit makes you stronger, doesn't that just make it easier to like... resist that stuff too?
But you're also kinda right. Man, why is this so effin' hard to figure out? Talked to Dave about it too and he was worried about me makin' this choice too, but told me if it's my gut feeling to take the deal then I should really sit down and try to think things through and figure out if it's what I really want.
So both of you are sayin' the same thing. I'm, uh. Those are the two most important opinions to me, so. Yeah, I'll wait. But the second something goes south, I'm gonna take it. I ain't letting either of you get into harm's way.
[Ryuji's just standing there mapping new horoscopes on his shoulders, and Dave's also left there letting him, enjoying the touch, suddenly feeling a little silly for wanting to hide it in the first place. but then, Ryuji had hid his, too, so ... chalk it up to the both of them behaving similarly when it comes to the serious moments they share with each other, as they're always wont to do.]
You think so? [Dave is used to being called cute by this point. beautiful is kind of a new one, though — new enough that it lingers, like an August heat wave in Texas on his cheeks.]
[he sort of wonders if Ryuji would still be doing this if they were the regular freckles he used to have. honestly ... probably. that's what he would figure.]
I guess I wouldn't mind standing out in the open shirtless if you were ever lost and needed a lighthouse. [Dave. what? that's not very romantic, nor is that the purpose of lighthouses.]
I mean ... I get what you're saying there, I think. There's pretty much nothing to like about everything that happened last month.
But I do really like the way you look right now.
You think so? [Dave is used to being called cute by this point. beautiful is kind of a new one, though — new enough that it lingers, like an August heat wave in Texas on his cheeks.]
[he sort of wonders if Ryuji would still be doing this if they were the regular freckles he used to have. honestly ... probably. that's what he would figure.]
I guess I wouldn't mind standing out in the open shirtless if you were ever lost and needed a lighthouse. [Dave. what? that's not very romantic, nor is that the purpose of lighthouses.]
I mean ... I get what you're saying there, I think. There's pretty much nothing to like about everything that happened last month.
But I do really like the way you look right now.
Definitely.
[He's also really not used to calling boys beautiful. Or anyone, really, for that matter. It doesn't feel that weird though, because it wasn't like he was saying it just to try and smooth something over. He honest to god feels that way, and, yeah, he'd still probably find his regular old freckles pretty damn amazing too. If they were laying in bed, he could count them to fall asleep. He'd still try to find the little dipper there, even if his body hadn't turned into a light brite.
And sure, maybe being a lighthouse doesn't sound very romantic on the onset of the suggestion, but Ryuji smiles at it anyway. It's pretty par for the course in their weird attempts at this to begin with, and it fits with an aesthetic that Ryuji had loved to begin with. Pirates. Ships. Seas. All that cool stuff. Nothing more free than the ocean. His own perception of rebellion when he first came into his own persona. So, it fits and strikes a chord.
His nautical knowledge of the purpose lighthouses serve is also pretty fuzzy. He's a city boy.]
That's definitely a good way to anchor me back to shore. [He takes in the weight of last month's events, again. Not wanting to keep living in the past, especially not a past that he thought was going to have an end to it, he holds steady to his self-promise. Not to waste chances, because the station can take everything away if it wanted to.]
But, yeah. I think you got what I'm sayin'. [He tugs Dave a little bit closer to him. How warm is that face? Is it enough to create a space heater? Fry an egg on it?] Told ya once. I'm always gonna find my way back to you.
[And suddenly, he doesn't really feel that self-conscious about the markings on his back. It was enough to hear that he liked it. But the feeling's mutual enough to believe that... he didn't have to hide it from Dave as a way to stop remembering how shitty everything went down during the virus, but rather, accept it.]
Cool, 'cause. I'm kinda used to sleepin' shirtless. It gets so hot at night, y'know?
[He's also really not used to calling boys beautiful. Or anyone, really, for that matter. It doesn't feel that weird though, because it wasn't like he was saying it just to try and smooth something over. He honest to god feels that way, and, yeah, he'd still probably find his regular old freckles pretty damn amazing too. If they were laying in bed, he could count them to fall asleep. He'd still try to find the little dipper there, even if his body hadn't turned into a light brite.
And sure, maybe being a lighthouse doesn't sound very romantic on the onset of the suggestion, but Ryuji smiles at it anyway. It's pretty par for the course in their weird attempts at this to begin with, and it fits with an aesthetic that Ryuji had loved to begin with. Pirates. Ships. Seas. All that cool stuff. Nothing more free than the ocean. His own perception of rebellion when he first came into his own persona. So, it fits and strikes a chord.
His nautical knowledge of the purpose lighthouses serve is also pretty fuzzy. He's a city boy.]
That's definitely a good way to anchor me back to shore. [He takes in the weight of last month's events, again. Not wanting to keep living in the past, especially not a past that he thought was going to have an end to it, he holds steady to his self-promise. Not to waste chances, because the station can take everything away if it wanted to.]
But, yeah. I think you got what I'm sayin'. [He tugs Dave a little bit closer to him. How warm is that face? Is it enough to create a space heater? Fry an egg on it?] Told ya once. I'm always gonna find my way back to you.
[And suddenly, he doesn't really feel that self-conscious about the markings on his back. It was enough to hear that he liked it. But the feeling's mutual enough to believe that... he didn't have to hide it from Dave as a way to stop remembering how shitty everything went down during the virus, but rather, accept it.]
Cool, 'cause. I'm kinda used to sleepin' shirtless. It gets so hot at night, y'know?
[the face is probably somewhere between a space heater and habenero. but he allows himself to be tugged closer without protest; they could be forehead to forehead or cheek to cheek at this point with only a little more movement, and it suddenly feels an awful lot like there's been a weight lifted off his shoulders, too. which is a silly choice in metaphor, considering his shoulders look a lot more like what's outside the closest airlock than they do load-bearing.]
Yeah? I always thought it was kinda cold in here. [because he's a cold intolerant baby who honestly probably complained the entire time he was frog hunting with Jade.]
Guess that makes sense, though. I think most lighthouses are like. In Maine or something.
[he gets the message. and he sends one back of his own: he means that if Ryuji's always going to find his way back to him, then Dave will do his damndest to be there for him to find.]
[........ wait, does Ryuji even know where Maine is?]
[it does occur to him that he's pretty much in a prime position to dunk Ryuji, as payback for the way he took the both of them out in spectacular fashion a few minutes ago, but ... eh. he's not really that fussed about it, and he's thinking that right now, he prefers standing here, being all up in his business, instead.]
[the whatever-number-decker-revenge he's on now will, as it has for the past five months or so, will just have to wait.]
Yeah? I always thought it was kinda cold in here. [because he's a cold intolerant baby who honestly probably complained the entire time he was frog hunting with Jade.]
Guess that makes sense, though. I think most lighthouses are like. In Maine or something.
[he gets the message. and he sends one back of his own: he means that if Ryuji's always going to find his way back to him, then Dave will do his damndest to be there for him to find.]
[........ wait, does Ryuji even know where Maine is?]
[it does occur to him that he's pretty much in a prime position to dunk Ryuji, as payback for the way he took the both of them out in spectacular fashion a few minutes ago, but ... eh. he's not really that fussed about it, and he's thinking that right now, he prefers standing here, being all up in his business, instead.]
[the whatever-number-decker-revenge he's on now will, as it has for the past five months or so, will just have to wait.]
[It's got a recognition factor of 4/10. Enough to know it's a state, not enough to know where it is on a map, and now that he knows there are lighthouses there, 5/10. And here he was thinking that Hawaii was his favorite. And then Texas. And now, maybe Maine.
And where Dave would've complained about the cold, Ryuji would've done the same about the heat. In fact, he's pretty sure his best friend has heard him bitch about the humidity more times than he ever actually needed to hear.]
Huh? You think so? I dunno. I was practically dyin' in that jumpsuit all the damn time. It was also really freaking tight. Maybe mine was just a size too small or something.
[You know. For those guns of his.
And it's probably high time that the both of them ditched this pool, considering they're both lacking the proper attire, but given the opportunity, he'd much rather enjoy their closeness. He's still acutely aware that the reason they ended up in here, despite the way their conversation had turned, was an act of mutiny; he's not worried about it.]
Buuuut. I guess I don't mind bein' the one the keep you warm at night. [Did he just invite himself over tonight? Yeah, probably. He's a rude boy, after all.]
And where Dave would've complained about the cold, Ryuji would've done the same about the heat. In fact, he's pretty sure his best friend has heard him bitch about the humidity more times than he ever actually needed to hear.]
Huh? You think so? I dunno. I was practically dyin' in that jumpsuit all the damn time. It was also really freaking tight. Maybe mine was just a size too small or something.
[You know. For those guns of his.
And it's probably high time that the both of them ditched this pool, considering they're both lacking the proper attire, but given the opportunity, he'd much rather enjoy their closeness. He's still acutely aware that the reason they ended up in here, despite the way their conversation had turned, was an act of mutiny; he's not worried about it.]
Buuuut. I guess I don't mind bein' the one the keep you warm at night. [Did he just invite himself over tonight? Yeah, probably. He's a rude boy, after all.]
[Ryuji won't hear a protest from Dave; seems to him that a heated water bottle of a boyfriend to warm him up would be a good way to cap off another simulated space day. even if said boyfriend and his pool roomba happen to be the reason why he's cold right now in the first place, as he hoists himself out of the pool, plopping down on the edge, legs still dipped in the water.]
Christmas ghosts must have been full of mercy to be saving you from permanent jumpsuit wedgie.
[Dave....]
Can we get something to eat first though? [dripping wet, apparently? nah, Ryuji said he brought towels, it's fine.]
I'm kinda thinking I might even be adventurous. Maybe I'll have a bagel instead of toast this time.
Christmas ghosts must have been full of mercy to be saving you from permanent jumpsuit wedgie.
[Dave....]
Can we get something to eat first though? [dripping wet, apparently? nah, Ryuji said he brought towels, it's fine.]
I'm kinda thinking I might even be adventurous. Maybe I'll have a bagel instead of toast this time.
RIGHT?
[Wedgies are the absolute worst. You'd think Ryuji would be the doler-outer of such sort of thing considering how much he bullies pretty much everyone he knows, but alas, he's never actually intentionally given someone one.]
I really ain't into my butt bein' flossed by own clothes.
[He has stories of those running shorts that used to do exactly that, at least, up until the school changed it so that there was a mesh lining on the inside in order to keep things in place. Nothing like some good netting to keep the nuts in line, either.
Which, gross.
But Dave pulls himself up out of the pool, and Ryuji looks up toward him from the pool. He's fucking scandalized, okay? Reaches out a hand and tugs at Dave's ankle a little, playful in his gesturing.]
A bagel? You sure you ain't.
Pulling my leg here?
[That was dumb, Ryuji. But when he smiles as brightly as he does like that, or lets go of him long enough to guide his boyfriend's ankles up against his own shoulders so that he can use him as a footrest, can't possibly be annoyed at his lame attempt of a joke, right?]
Aight. Bagels it is. Too fast to live, too young to die, dude. Livin' life on the edge. Of a pool.
[Wedgies are the absolute worst. You'd think Ryuji would be the doler-outer of such sort of thing considering how much he bullies pretty much everyone he knows, but alas, he's never actually intentionally given someone one.]
I really ain't into my butt bein' flossed by own clothes.
[He has stories of those running shorts that used to do exactly that, at least, up until the school changed it so that there was a mesh lining on the inside in order to keep things in place. Nothing like some good netting to keep the nuts in line, either.
Which, gross.
But Dave pulls himself up out of the pool, and Ryuji looks up toward him from the pool. He's fucking scandalized, okay? Reaches out a hand and tugs at Dave's ankle a little, playful in his gesturing.]
A bagel? You sure you ain't.
Pulling my leg here?
[That was dumb, Ryuji. But when he smiles as brightly as he does like that, or lets go of him long enough to guide his boyfriend's ankles up against his own shoulders so that he can use him as a footrest, can't possibly be annoyed at his lame attempt of a joke, right?]
Aight. Bagels it is. Too fast to live, too young to die, dude. Livin' life on the edge. Of a pool.
Man, does anybody like that kinda ass flossing? Wait — probably better not to answer that.
[they're both completely gross, it's ... fine ...]
[Dave leans forward, flinging that train of thought to the wayside, then, hands gripping the edges of the pool, smirking down at his comfortable new footstool.]
But your terrible jokes aside, yeah. I'd ask the thing for a full breakfast-for-dinner deal if the last time it made bacon didn't end up a complete disaster.
Don't try askin' it for bacon cheeseburgers, by the way.
[they're both completely gross, it's ... fine ...]
[Dave leans forward, flinging that train of thought to the wayside, then, hands gripping the edges of the pool, smirking down at his comfortable new footstool.]
But your terrible jokes aside, yeah. I'd ask the thing for a full breakfast-for-dinner deal if the last time it made bacon didn't end up a complete disaster.
Don't try askin' it for bacon cheeseburgers, by the way.
Yeah, dude. That right there is my thing. Just tickle my anal pickle.
[He answered it. He sure did answer it. It also ventures toward one of things he says immediately out of instinct and then in the dead of night will wake up and groan, realizing that if someone were to draw a Venn Diagram of Things That Are Better Left Unjoked About and Jokes About Your Anal Cavity, that he'd be there. Right smack dab in the middle.
Eh, it's whatever.]
Totally noted. Not that I think you'd try it, but don't ask for takoyaki either. They're uh. Little deep fried octopus balls with mayo on top.
[He feels like he's missing something here that's crucial and needs to be stated.]
I dunno what I was expectin' seeing what the replicators would do with tentacle meat.
[Smiling back, he imagines he's never been closer to death than attempting to eat one of those. But a bacon cheeseburger sounds great. Mouth-wateringly great, actually. Too bad they're going for bagels.]
This is gonna sound really effin' rude of me, but what's up with Americans and hamburgers to begin with?
[He answered it. He sure did answer it. It also ventures toward one of things he says immediately out of instinct and then in the dead of night will wake up and groan, realizing that if someone were to draw a Venn Diagram of Things That Are Better Left Unjoked About and Jokes About Your Anal Cavity, that he'd be there. Right smack dab in the middle.
Eh, it's whatever.]
Totally noted. Not that I think you'd try it, but don't ask for takoyaki either. They're uh. Little deep fried octopus balls with mayo on top.
[He feels like he's missing something here that's crucial and needs to be stated.]
I dunno what I was expectin' seeing what the replicators would do with tentacle meat.
[Smiling back, he imagines he's never been closer to death than attempting to eat one of those. But a bacon cheeseburger sounds great. Mouth-wateringly great, actually. Too bad they're going for bagels.]
This is gonna sound really effin' rude of me, but what's up with Americans and hamburgers to begin with?
[boy howdy, it sure has been a race to the bottom when it comes to blurting out shit since ... pretty much the day they met — though, with that one, Ryuji's definitely pulled ahead.]
What? I dunno, I guess they're the octopus balls of America. [Dave.]
It is easy as shit to find one, though. Why, are they not all that big in Tokyo?
[if he weren't already aware of the disaster that would result from it, though, he'd consider putting a burger on the bagels. ripping on the machines is easier than lamenting the fact that good tasting food is ... pretty much a rarity here, though.]
What? I dunno, I guess they're the octopus balls of America. [Dave.]
It is easy as shit to find one, though. Why, are they not all that big in Tokyo?
[if he weren't already aware of the disaster that would result from it, though, he'd consider putting a burger on the bagels. ripping on the machines is easier than lamenting the fact that good tasting food is ... pretty much a rarity here, though.]
Okay, okay. Counterpoint. We now call it the Octopus Balls of America, or, OBA for short. Japan can now be Japanburger.
[As far as he knows, this far into the future, there's a good chance that neither of those things exist anymore. He's read the biopic on the state of Earth, or at least, skimmed it for the most part and knows the place is pretty sucked dry.
Imagine a world where a hamburger costs $50 because cows are so rare and hard to come by.
Damn.]
Uhh... we have Big Bang Burger back home. It's a huge fast food chain. They serve these, like, colossal sized meat terrors. Joker ate one once... but... I think he was on the toilet for a week after it. Guy's got guts.
[Oh, which also reminds him, since he knows Haru--]
Haru's the kinda sorta CEO of the thing, too.
[As far as he knows, this far into the future, there's a good chance that neither of those things exist anymore. He's read the biopic on the state of Earth, or at least, skimmed it for the most part and knows the place is pretty sucked dry.
Imagine a world where a hamburger costs $50 because cows are so rare and hard to come by.
Damn.]
Uhh... we have Big Bang Burger back home. It's a huge fast food chain. They serve these, like, colossal sized meat terrors. Joker ate one once... but... I think he was on the toilet for a week after it. Guy's got guts.
[Oh, which also reminds him, since he knows Haru--]
Haru's the kinda sorta CEO of the thing, too.
[Dave is sort of in two camps at once when it comes to vital video game exposition: the "live and let live" camp, and the "live and don't give a shit" camp. which is to say, he's always relied on someone who's a complete nerd about poring over every minute detail and regurgitating it in an even more pointlessly verbose FAQ to give him the rundown on things. which is to say, Rose isn't here. which is to further say, he has no idea what any of that biopic says.]
[he'd be bummed that the AJ probably ran dry, though.]
Shit, really? [to ... all of those points of information, honestly. Texans love to brag on how everything's bigger there, so the idea of a monster horrorburger isn't what's surprising. it's more the fact that one, those sort of challenges exist out of the U.S., and two, someone actually managed to best a challenge like that.]
[but he ultimately zeroes in on the most interesting tidbit of info, here. and you'd think Dave would be curious about the story on that, how Haru came to run a fast food chain, and you'd think he'd immediately ask for it, and ... those are probably the correct things to think.]
That mean y'all get free burgers or what?
[oh. never mind.]
[he'd be bummed that the AJ probably ran dry, though.]
Shit, really? [to ... all of those points of information, honestly. Texans love to brag on how everything's bigger there, so the idea of a monster horrorburger isn't what's surprising. it's more the fact that one, those sort of challenges exist out of the U.S., and two, someone actually managed to best a challenge like that.]
[but he ultimately zeroes in on the most interesting tidbit of info, here. and you'd think Dave would be curious about the story on that, how Haru came to run a fast food chain, and you'd think he'd immediately ask for it, and ... those are probably the correct things to think.]
That mean y'all get free burgers or what?
[oh. never mind.]
Shit, really.
[This is the dawning of a new age for Ryuji, who, has never once thought about asking Haru if they got free Big Bang challenges out of the deal. Hey, it was pretty obvious that if you couldn't complete it, you had to pay for it, but surely the corporation wouldn't miss a few kids meals?]
I... uh.
[Those toys were really cool, he wouldn't lie about that. Who doesn't love gacha burgers, even if you're well past the age of qualifying for eating those things?]
Man, now I kinda wanna ask, but like. I dunno. It seems kinda rude just bein' like "yo, we get free shit, right, since we're tight and all that."
[He contemplates it. Haru would probably laugh at him if he did ask.]
Screw it. I wanna know.
[And with that, Ryuji's finally going to get himself out. He's dripping everywhere, but of course, he doesn't mind.]
[This is the dawning of a new age for Ryuji, who, has never once thought about asking Haru if they got free Big Bang challenges out of the deal. Hey, it was pretty obvious that if you couldn't complete it, you had to pay for it, but surely the corporation wouldn't miss a few kids meals?]
I... uh.
[Those toys were really cool, he wouldn't lie about that. Who doesn't love gacha burgers, even if you're well past the age of qualifying for eating those things?]
Man, now I kinda wanna ask, but like. I dunno. It seems kinda rude just bein' like "yo, we get free shit, right, since we're tight and all that."
[He contemplates it. Haru would probably laugh at him if he did ask.]
Screw it. I wanna know.
[And with that, Ryuji's finally going to get himself out. He's dripping everywhere, but of course, he doesn't mind.]
That kinda seems like the square one perk of being a burger bigwig like that.
[get it? Haru has fluffy hair. but, Dave doesn't have the slightest clue what a gacha burger is; if you were desperate enough for a certain Teenie Beanie Baby the people at McDonald's were usually pretty good at obliging. but he'd probably be on board with the idea.]
[in any case, once Ryuji's out of the pool, he near automatically scoots closer, bumping a starry shoulder against him, a bird instinctively shuffling toward warmth.]
Just thinking about it's making me hungrier, though. Where'd you put the towels again?
[get it? Haru has fluffy hair. but, Dave doesn't have the slightest clue what a gacha burger is; if you were desperate enough for a certain Teenie Beanie Baby the people at McDonald's were usually pretty good at obliging. but he'd probably be on board with the idea.]
[in any case, once Ryuji's out of the pool, he near automatically scoots closer, bumping a starry shoulder against him, a bird instinctively shuffling toward warmth.]
Just thinking about it's making me hungrier, though. Where'd you put the towels again?
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