So it's like... when you're on your back and your girl is on top of you goin' the other way and...
And y'know, it's sexy times, I guess. Not that I really know or anythin', this is just goin' offa what I've seen on the internet. Not that...
I mean, yeah, okay, I'm not gonna lie and say I don't watch porn, 'cause you'd probably figure that out pretty quick. Do you even know what... uh. Forget it. Anyway, you got someone on toppa you and you're getting head and the other person's doin' the same on the other side, kinda like a weird looking 6 and 9.
[ Calm, neutral. Too calm. Then, about ten seconds later, once she figures out what 'getting head' means... ]
W-w-w-w-wait, what the hell? People DO that? Only if they're married, right? But even then, you can't produce an heir that way, so it's not practical at all! N-n-not that I'm some stuffy fool who cares about that sort of thing—!
[Oh god, her being flustered makes Ryuji start being flustered, and he can't take the both of them being such idiots over this, so he just sits there, in his bed, staring at the wall.
I'm gonna kick your ass, hotdog.]
U...uh. W..eell...
Sometimes it uh. Maybe it's like. You know. Not every time? Right, I mean, not every time you do it you're doin' it to make a b... make a baby. It just kinda? It, uh. Feels good? Imeanhypothetically since I'm. Still a virgin.
Still—! For there to be a symbol for such an act! [ She's not entirely ignorant of sex — she's overheard enough of the other knights' discussions to have some idea. ] Things were truly different in my era... or perhaps not. I never took a wife, so it was of little concern to me.
[ She tried to. But Guinevere had the sense to turn her down. ]
Have you not done so either, Master? ... Well, you're young, so there's still time. Certainly, someone suitable exists even for you. [ How did this turn on Ryuji so badly... ]
NO I HAVEN'T GOTTEN FARTHER THAN KISSIN' ANYONE!! Geez, Mordred, come on, cut me some slack here, dude. Between all the war and the fighting and the training, and all my mana goin' straight to you, I haven't really had time to think about that shit.
[Small subtext here: And... yeah, he had a chance and blew it. With Rider, whose not even in their cell anymore. Ryuji got ghosted.]
Yo, so when you mean 'take a wife' does that mean you're uh. [RYUJI DON'T] Are you.... y'know, like. Uh. I mean to say, or what I wanna ask is... are you into girls?
[ She remembers that, even if she had no idea what they were doing until Achilles explained things. Part of her feels a little bad, but part of her thinks he could do better... and another part of her thinks it's hilarious. Sorry Ryuji. ]
A king needs a queen. Father's wasn't interested in me, but that's fine. I guess she didn't want to betray him more than she already had. [ Or maybe you're the problem, Mordred. She snorts, as if that's some great joke. ] One day, I'll find someone worthy of sharing the throne. Someone really strong. Just like with horses, it's an honour to tame troublesome women.
[ ... That is 100% something she's overheard. She says it way too easily to realize the real implications. ]
...Yeah, unfortunately. Kinda sucks, but I don't got much game when it comes down to it.
[Sometimes, he finds out, the more he learns about Mordred, the more she seems less like an Ann type and more like a Haru type and that absolutely fucking terrifies him. He half expects Mordred to come out with a comment about stepping on people just to watch them squirm.]
Dude, you know that it's not right to try and marry your dad's wife, right? Like. Seriously... [WHAT IS THIS CONVERSATION??? WHAT IS MORDRED???]
And don't say you're gonna tame a woman, that's like... the biggest goddamn turnoff you could possibly say to someone. [Look at him... giving advice on girls to Mordred. This is the reality he signed up for.]
Lead in with the whole 'I wanna make you my queen' sorta thing and I bet you'll get a good response.
Of course. But I did it to antagonize the king, not because I truly wished for her hand. Don't think of me as some pervert.
[ That. Might actually be worse?? Don't do that. ]
Anyway, what's wrong about that? It's just a saying... I wouldn't treat them poorly or anything. Even in a political marriage, there's no reason for me to do so. It's distasteful.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Shit.
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tell me the truth.
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you clearly know, so stop holding out. surely it isnt another strange japanese thing.
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69 is giving mutual
Nevermind I can't do this
-> telepathy..........................
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[SEND HELP]
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Spit it out. This is your job as a Master of this era.
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[This is the worst thing that has ever happened to him.]
It's a pervy kinda thing, do I gotta?
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So it's like... when you're on your back and your girl is on top of you goin' the other way and...
And y'know, it's sexy times, I guess. Not that I really know or anythin', this is just goin' offa what I've seen on the internet. Not that...
I mean, yeah, okay, I'm not gonna lie and say I don't watch porn, 'cause you'd probably figure that out pretty quick. Do you even know what... uh. Forget it. Anyway, you got someone on toppa you and you're getting head and the other person's doin' the same on the other side, kinda like a weird looking 6 and 9.
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[ Calm, neutral. Too calm. Then, about ten seconds later, once she figures out what 'getting head' means... ]
W-w-w-w-wait, what the hell? People DO that? Only if they're married, right? But even then, you can't produce an heir that way, so it's not practical at all! N-n-not that I'm some stuffy fool who cares about that sort of thing—!
[ You just blew her knightly mind, Ryuji. ]
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I'm gonna kick your ass, hotdog.]
U...uh. W..eell...
Sometimes it uh. Maybe it's like. You know. Not every time? Right, I mean, not every time you do it you're doin' it to make a b... make a baby. It just kinda? It, uh. Feels good? Imeanhypothetically since I'm. Still a virgin.
Mordred?
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Still—! For there to be a symbol for such an act! [ She's not entirely ignorant of sex — she's overheard enough of the other knights' discussions to have some idea. ] Things were truly different in my era... or perhaps not. I never took a wife, so it was of little concern to me.
[ She tried to. But Guinevere had the sense to turn her down. ]
Have you not done so either, Master? ... Well, you're young, so there's still time. Certainly, someone suitable exists even for you. [ How did this turn on Ryuji so badly... ]
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Take a wife.
Take a wife.
Is that a can of worms he wants to open?]
NO I HAVEN'T GOTTEN FARTHER THAN KISSIN' ANYONE!! Geez, Mordred, come on, cut me some slack here, dude. Between all the war and the fighting and the training, and all my mana goin' straight to you, I haven't really had time to think about that shit.
[Small subtext here: And... yeah, he had a chance and blew it. With Rider, whose not even in their cell anymore. Ryuji got ghosted.]
Yo, so when you mean 'take a wife' does that mean you're uh. [RYUJI DON'T] Are you.... y'know, like. Uh. I mean to say, or what I wanna ask is... are you into girls?
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[ She remembers that, even if she had no idea what they were doing until Achilles explained things. Part of her feels a little bad, but part of her thinks he could do better... and another part of her thinks it's hilarious. Sorry Ryuji. ]
A king needs a queen. Father's wasn't interested in me, but that's fine. I guess she didn't want to betray him more than she already had. [ Or maybe you're the problem, Mordred. She snorts, as if that's some great joke. ] One day, I'll find someone worthy of sharing the throne. Someone really strong. Just like with horses, it's an honour to tame troublesome women.
[ ... That is 100% something she's overheard. She says it way too easily to realize the real implications. ]
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[Sometimes, he finds out, the more he learns about Mordred, the more she seems less like an Ann type and more like a Haru type and that absolutely fucking terrifies him. He half expects Mordred to come out with a comment about stepping on people just to watch them squirm.]
Dude, you know that it's not right to try and marry your dad's wife, right? Like. Seriously... [WHAT IS THIS CONVERSATION??? WHAT IS MORDRED???]
And don't say you're gonna tame a woman, that's like... the biggest goddamn turnoff you could possibly say to someone. [Look at him... giving advice on girls to Mordred. This is the reality he signed up for.]
Lead in with the whole 'I wanna make you my queen' sorta thing and I bet you'll get a good response.
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[ That. Might actually be worse?? Don't do that. ]
Anyway, what's wrong about that? It's just a saying... I wouldn't treat them poorly or anything. Even in a political marriage, there's no reason for me to do so. It's distasteful.