[That really was some amazing teamwork, wasn't it?
But that's not what crosses his mind when Ryuji notices:
a.) Simba-chan looks absolutely fine b.) Huh, what's with the angle? c.) Oh. d.) lol dave
Look, Simba, everything the water touches is our kingdom. A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the tides. One day, Simba, you will scare a giant doofus enough to tilt backward into the pool, and the water level will rise with you as the new king.]
I can't believe you let a poolmba bully you
Is he being sent to the principal's office
Do I gotta come pick him up
[He has 4 towels, to be exact. Do you need one, Dave? Do you?]
[nah, Dave knows this was largely self-inflicted. he could have just wandered sopping wet down the hall back to his room, but that presents the problem of having to wander sopping wet down a hall that's still slightly toilet paper'd.]
[which presents its own set of problems. they're still self-inflicted problems, but.]
dude i cant believe youre brushing off this fuckin scar maneuver the guy just pulled body slammed me right into a stampede hes not following the plot correctly at all here havent you given him the spiel on how this is supposed to go
[yes. that is Davespeak for please bring him a towel.]
[Because nobody is going to question wet wads of TP just chilling around the fourth floor, draping the entire place and turning their usual haunt locale into... everywhere, basically.]
Yeah but he's Simba-chan and you're Dave-chan
And he's just like his old man I'd dunk you right into the blessed rains down in Africa
[Notice the lack of punctuation and run-on sentence structure that autocorrect couldn't touch? That means he's already on his way. Hurry, boy, he's waiting there for you, and all.
[if there ever was a text to properly convey their usual, weirdly fond cadence, there it is. and, they're both just going to have to live with hair that's a different color than their normal for a while, it sounds like.]
[but Dave's managed to escape the water (buffalo?) stampede by the time Ryuji gets there, standing VERY POINTEDLY far away from Simba, grumbling and wringing out the bottom hem of his trademark raglan shirt. that's gonna be a pain in the ass to wash, too. his bangs are slicked to his forehead, and the shades are currently latched on to the collar of his shirt, because he has no means of drying off the lenses yet.]
[He's not wrong about that, though. If Dave's gonna call him an asshole, he's gonna proudly live up to it. Hell, he doesn't even know if the sleep deprivation joke is a Too Soon sort of reference, but, whatever, he dropped it there and let it sit for a while in their chat box.
Poking his head into the gym, he sees Dave trying to dry himself off, and he pulls out just to take a moment in this active time event to make a few quick adjustments, sigh to himself, and just... drop the towel he was carrying right outside its door.
Coming, empty handed, he crosses his arms and clears his throat. Takes a good look at his soaking wet boyfriend, and then shakes his head, turning to Simba to survey any structural damages.]
You alright?
[Thank god his back his turned to him, because the obnoxious grin on his face is almost palpable. Probably in his voice, too.]
[honestly, the song's probably stuck in his head now, and they're up to what. quadruple decker revenge at this point? Dave's kind of lost count, as well as any ideas he had in mind to get back at Ryuji in the first place.]
[so Ryuji's earlier assumption that the threat of revenge had no actual teeth to it was the correct one.]
[but the most effective way to get a stubborn song out of your head is, weirdly enough, listening to it. which .... yeah, he'd rather just live with Toto at this point.]
You asking me or the first robot to turn in the uprising? [yeah, he hears that obnoxious grin, buddy. and he has half a mind to retaliate by tossing him in the pool next.]
He, uh. Don't be too harsh on 'em, okay? He's a great guy.
[Ryuji begins cajoling Simba, because clearly!!! this was some sort of mistake. Simba probably just wanted to greet him, but was nervous to do so, got overenthusiastic and managed to creep up on him. He doesn't have a mouth, so it's not like he could've announced his presence or anything like that.
Approaching and leaning down, though, he does check to make sure the filter isn't completely trashed, as he's been cleaning it by hand ever since Simba sprung into existence after all that weird shit went down. It looks good; he doesn't even have to take it apart to get a better examination of it. It's only been a few days, anyway.
That settled, he stands up. As much fun as it is to mess with Dave, he doesn't really want him standing there completely drenched. That's probably how people catch space flus and Ryuji seriously, seriously never wants that to ever happen again.]
Dude, I woulda gone swimming with you if you asked. [Yeah, he deserves all that revenge.]
[IS THIS A CHALLENGE? Ryuji's competitive nature starts coming right out of the woodwork, a rowdy sort of smile filling the lines and features of his face. He could take Dave, easy.
Provided Dave doesn't cheat. He is a dirty cheater after all.]
Oh yeah? You uh. Sure you wanna do that to yourself?
[he could take Dave easy, huh? maybe — but maybe, also consider Dave's current arsenal of pool battle tactics. there's the suplexing. there's the Sylladex. there's the stopping time.]
[lots of strategies that begin with s. and, yeah, all of those would probably earn him the label of sdirty scheater.]
[but he quirks an eyebrow at the question, the challenge, thumbs casually dug into his pockets.]
[His clout in this fight is completely dependent on his ability to physically resist and plunge Dave right back into the watery depths below. That said, any sort of time stoppage would render him completely useless. Worse, being captchalogued and spun out into the water would make him a literal cannonball. He can only rely on this being fair. Which, it's probably somewhat abysmal in chances.
It calls back to when he had to take Dave's shadow on, and knowing that direct encounter with his abilities would lead to utter bullshit going down, and as considers the options here, he'd have to go for a distraction. Strategy. If it wouldn't be so obvious, he'd be rubbing his chin right now.]
Oh, y'know. You could try to toss me in there. But... I'm pretty sure it's like. Definitely mutually assured destruction. How about we call it quits while we're ahead, yeah?
[A confident step forward as he approaches Dave, much like he's offering trust to be taken.]
Eh, I got a towel for ya. [A few more steps.] You're not too cold, are you? [Still trying to close some of that distance between them. He offers out a hand to Dave.] Let's get you dried off.
[that whole line of thought presents an interesting question, though: which one of them would actually win in a no items, no abilities, Final Destination match? the main reason Dave has such a huge advantage here is he has an arsenal of overpowered tricks, after all. and the both of them seem to have the same sort of melee build, though Ryuji probably hits a lot harder. you know, when he actually lands hits.]
[it'd probably boil down to who has more endurance.]
[but to answer Ryuji's question, he is a kid who hails from the South and whose fated bullshit quest planet is literally just a giant ball of lava. Dave's always a little cold on board this space station, and going for an accidental swim didn't help much.]
You've got a towel. [he says he's got a towel ... but strange, Dave doesn't see one in his hands! he doesn't make any sudden moves, though — he's just watching to see how close Ryuji is ultimately going to get to him.]
[Strictly speaking, fox only, right? Ryuji's probably a bit stronger with the amount of working out he's done over the last year, but he also has a problem with endurance. Those leg cramps are real fucking annoying, so as long as Dave can drag it out, he can probably win. And hey, at least he doesn't have a cat this time around to drag him. Skull, you're so pathetic.
Kind of works out, though. At least, the heat differentials. Ryuji runs pretty warm, and the second the temperature kicks it up a few notches to spicy tomato levels of heat, he's in a tanktop and shorts. Running the air-con a lot wasn't very cost effective, though, so he learned to endure it more often than not. He's still the first to complain about it, though.
He does have a towel, though. He definitely has a towel. It's just not anywhere in sight. Ryuji knows this, and yet.]
It's just outside the fitness center.
[It's a gambit, of course, and he knows he's playing with fire. Which is good, considering there's a pool right-over-there. Not backing down, he takes another step forward toward Dave.]
[maybe Falco would be a better pick for this hypothetical, especially considering the intense game of chicken they're playing right now — Ryuji closing the distance between them with each turn like he's some sort of really tall Tonberry, and Dave, though he's casual about it, stubbornly holding his ground, waiting to see if Ryuji follows through on what that rowdy smile of his seems to imply.]
[but then, Dave finally goes ahead and tosses a strategy out into the air. because it's a verbal one.]
Hold that thought a second, Mufasa. Before you dunk me, I wanna ask you something.
[dude. that's the oldest trick in the book, you really think Ryuji's gonna fall for it.]
[That confident exterior of his at totally owning this encounter cracks along the edges. He didn't think he was being that obvious over the entire thing, but Dave goes right for it. Ryuji can't even play it off, either, like- oh, dunk you? Would never think of that in a million years. Although the thought crosses his mind to try and deflect, it makes him snort a laugh through his nose that comes off as... also really fucking obvious.]
Uhh...
[It might be the OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK, but he's still prone to fall for those, and he tilts his head to the side, 10 degrees pivoted from being upright in that way he usually does when he's thinking of something.
[Ryuji's poker face could use some work. poker laugh? poker try to avoid snorting when you're called out. see Dave's face? do that.]
[of course, even the best poker players have their tells. like how Dave folds his arms across his chest, pursing his lips, perhaps hinting that he's got his own dunking scheme currently whirring away in his head.]
Some jazz music, actually. Like, some jazz music that started playing out of no where in my room the other day.
[Might as well be George Fucking Washington and live up to that dumb myth of "I cannot tell a lie," because Ryuji's suddenly hyper aware that this is definitely not going in the direction he was planning. He should run for the hills.
But he'll try it. He'll try this foreign, weird concept of "not telling the truth," and just shrug it off.]
... Dunno what the hell... y...you're talkin' about, dude.
[Except for the way that he audibly stutters in the middle of it. Or any number of the following giveaways:
-he doesn't look directly at Dave's shades -he delayed a response that wasn't immediate and instinctive -the upward change in ton of his voice at the word dude
[lol. Dave's got Ryuji right where he wants him now.]
[but yeah, it's true, it was a great prank, he'll admit it. and you can bet he'll also be using the space station AI responsibly to return the pranking favor.]
Really? I was gonna tell whoever was responsible thanks.
Maybe Dave really liked the smooth stylings of jazz circa way too goddamn long ago. Maybe he had a dance party right then and there. Ryuji follows this train of thought, because he's gullible sometimes, and why would Dave ever lead him astray, right? Right?
He bites down on one corner of his lip, and nods. Well, if he was really into the entire thing, he definitely did Dave a favor.]
[Ryuji's in the deep end before he's even actually in the deep end. The distance closes a bit more, and his gut feeling is telling him to take a step back, but he ain't no coward. He's also not guilty, so why would he feel nervous around this immortal god of hamster Valhalla?
Yeah, he's definitely making this really easy. His lips twitch, and he tries to straighten them out by force, restricting and forbidding the muscles in his mouth to start turning upward in concavity. He'll just... reach out, now that they're close enough and place a hand right on his shoulder.
If he's going down, he's going to at least try to take Dave with him.]
Maybe Crystal just likes that style of music, are we really gonna judge?
[mutually assured destruction it is, then. what's Dave got to lose? Simba already dunked him to the murky depths once already today, may as well go down in a blaze of pseudo vengeful glory.]
I'm just saying, chatbots don't get random wild hairs about sharing their music tastes on their own, right? [Dave, don't ... don't call the station's AI a chatbot??]
I figure someone must have been, I dunno. Texting with Cynthia or something.
[he punctuates that by lifting his hand to his own shoulder, casually wrapping his fingers around the top of Ryuji's wrist.]
[If only they were both close enough to the water so that Ryuji could suplex Dave right into the damn thing. Not even thinking if he were strong enough to do it, just ruing the notion that concrete isn't the right texture or softness to get that done.]
I mean, technically speakin', I don't think Carol actually has hair.
[He can't believe Dave is insinuating musical infidelities with the station's chatbot. Whatever a chatbot was.]
But if someone were chatting her up, and I definitely ain't sayin' it was me, but if someone were, and the conversation just sorta went in that direction, then whoever that someone is, must've really wanted to share something kinda beautiful with you. I mean, I'd be, like, completely honored.
[Somehow he never saw this coming.
And his eyes follow toward that hand; the moment is near and he doesn't have enough time. Jig's up. Whatever happens, it'll be hot pursuit. He needs to react quickly to throw him off guard. Ryuji uses his other hand to pull Dave closer, hand against the skinny of his back. One hand raises up higher on his shoulder, and the second he can, he's going to aim to sweep him right off his feet.
That is, if Dave doesn't already have a plan up his sleeve.]
Oh, okay. So that was your thought process behind the whole thing.
[got it. but defensively speaking, from the perspective of his original intent here, which is to toss a dry boyfriend in the pool, Dave's kind of gotten himself in a precarious situation. a ... kind of nice one, actually, if you remove the threat of getting turbo dunked back in the deep end.]
[though, if he doesn't move from his current position, it wouldn't take much more than a grand sweeping gesture to send him sprawling backwards, and Ryuji is certainly strong enough to pull that off.]
[but Dave, as they are both well aware, is a dirty cheater.]
[he grabs hold of both of Ryuji's arms, trying to hold them best as he can against Ryuji's sides in an attempt to prevent him from moving well enough to pull off whatever maneuver he's gunning for. and if that doesn't work? he's battening down the hatches and refusing to let go.]
[it's a friendly warning, too. you know. a last chance to back down before Dave really starts cheating.]
[He thought he established very early on that it wasn't hi...
yeah, okay, he can't even play it off any more. He smirks as Dave starts to control the threat in the room. That threat being Ryuji, of course.]
Yeah, fine, whatever, I did it.
[Uh.
Dave, what are you doing.]
This sure is like. A really weird effin' way to give a dude a hug. [And yet, he knows exactly what Dave's doing, playing coy about it isn't going to get himself anywhere near constructive.]
This is how you're supposed to do it. [He exerts opposing pressure against the constraining motion, and, yeah. One of those Newtonian laws he never learned about. For every action there's an opposite and equal reaction, right? Or, more importantly, what goes around fucking comes right back around.]
What're you. [IT'S NOT PANIC IN HIS VOICE AT ALL.] Dave, c'mon. Dude.
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But that's not what crosses his mind when Ryuji notices:
a.) Simba-chan looks absolutely fine
b.) Huh, what's with the angle?
c.) Oh.
d.) lol dave
Look, Simba, everything the water touches is our kingdom. A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the tides. One day, Simba, you will scare a giant doofus enough to tilt backward into the pool, and the water level will rise with you as the new king.]
I can't believe you let a poolmba bully you
Is he being sent to the principal's office
Do I gotta come pick him up
[He has 4 towels, to be exact. Do you need one, Dave? Do you?]
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[nah, Dave knows this was largely self-inflicted. he could have just wandered sopping wet down the hall back to his room, but that presents the problem of having to wander sopping wet down a hall that's still slightly toilet paper'd.]
[which presents its own set of problems. they're still self-inflicted problems, but.]
dude
i cant believe youre brushing off this fuckin scar maneuver the guy just pulled
body slammed me right into a stampede
hes not following the plot correctly at all here
havent you given him the spiel on how this is supposed to go
[yes. that is Davespeak for please bring him a towel.]
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Yeah but he's Simba-chan and you're Dave-chan
And he's just like his old man I'd dunk you right into the blessed rains down in Africa
[Notice the lack of punctuation and run-on sentence structure that autocorrect couldn't touch? That means he's already on his way. Hurry, boy, he's waiting there for you, and all.
And your eventually green hair.
This is going to be beautiful.]
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[if there ever was a text to properly convey their usual, weirdly fond cadence, there it is. and, they're both just going to have to live with hair that's a different color than their normal for a while, it sounds like.]
[but Dave's managed to escape the water (buffalo?) stampede by the time Ryuji gets there, standing VERY POINTEDLY far away from Simba, grumbling and wringing out the bottom hem of his trademark raglan shirt. that's gonna be a pain in the ass to wash, too. his bangs are slicked to his forehead, and the shades are currently latched on to the collar of his shirt, because he has no means of drying off the lenses yet.]
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Poking his head into the gym, he sees Dave trying to dry himself off, and he pulls out just to take a moment in this active time event to make a few quick adjustments, sigh to himself, and just... drop the towel he was carrying right outside its door.
Coming, empty handed, he crosses his arms and clears his throat. Takes a good look at his soaking wet boyfriend, and then shakes his head, turning to Simba to survey any structural damages.]
You alright?
[Thank god his back his turned to him, because the obnoxious grin on his face is almost palpable. Probably in his voice, too.]
This ain't how you make friends, little dude.
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[so Ryuji's earlier assumption that the threat of revenge had no actual teeth to it was the correct one.]
[but the most effective way to get a stubborn song out of your head is, weirdly enough, listening to it. which .... yeah, he'd rather just live with Toto at this point.]
You asking me or the first robot to turn in the uprising? [yeah, he hears that obnoxious grin, buddy. and he has half a mind to retaliate by tossing him in the pool next.]
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[Ryuji begins cajoling Simba, because clearly!!! this was some sort of mistake. Simba probably just wanted to greet him, but was nervous to do so, got overenthusiastic and managed to creep up on him. He doesn't have a mouth, so it's not like he could've announced his presence or anything like that.
Approaching and leaning down, though, he does check to make sure the filter isn't completely trashed, as he's been cleaning it by hand ever since Simba sprung into existence after all that weird shit went down. It looks good; he doesn't even have to take it apart to get a better examination of it. It's only been a few days, anyway.
That settled, he stands up. As much fun as it is to mess with Dave, he doesn't really want him standing there completely drenched. That's probably how people catch space flus and Ryuji seriously, seriously never wants that to ever happen again.]
Dude, I woulda gone swimming with you if you asked. [Yeah, he deserves all that revenge.]
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[there's ... not a lot of teeth to that remark, either.]
But yeah, all right. I'll throw you in the pool, since you're offering.
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Provided Dave doesn't cheat. He is a dirty cheater after all.]
Oh yeah? You uh. Sure you wanna do that to yourself?
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[lots of strategies that begin with s. and, yeah, all of those would probably earn him the label of sdirty scheater.]
[but he quirks an eyebrow at the question, the challenge, thumbs casually dug into his pockets.]
No idea what you mean by that.
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It calls back to when he had to take Dave's shadow on, and knowing that direct encounter with his abilities would lead to utter bullshit going down, and as considers the options here, he'd have to go for a distraction. Strategy. If it wouldn't be so obvious, he'd be rubbing his chin right now.]
Oh, y'know. You could try to toss me in there. But... I'm pretty sure it's like. Definitely mutually assured destruction. How about we call it quits while we're ahead, yeah?
[A confident step forward as he approaches Dave, much like he's offering trust to be taken.]
Eh, I got a towel for ya. [A few more steps.] You're not too cold, are you? [Still trying to close some of that distance between them. He offers out a hand to Dave.] Let's get you dried off.
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[it'd probably boil down to who has more endurance.]
[but to answer Ryuji's question, he is a kid who hails from the South and whose fated bullshit quest planet is literally just a giant ball of lava. Dave's always a little cold on board this space station, and going for an accidental swim didn't help much.]
You've got a towel. [he says he's got a towel ... but strange, Dave doesn't see one in his hands! he doesn't make any sudden moves, though — he's just watching to see how close Ryuji is ultimately going to get to him.]
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Kind of works out, though. At least, the heat differentials. Ryuji runs pretty warm, and the second the temperature kicks it up a few notches to spicy tomato levels of heat, he's in a tanktop and shorts. Running the air-con a lot wasn't very cost effective, though, so he learned to endure it more often than not. He's still the first to complain about it, though.
He does have a towel, though. He definitely has a towel. It's just not anywhere in sight. Ryuji knows this, and yet.]
It's just outside the fitness center.
[It's a gambit, of course, and he knows he's playing with fire. Which is good, considering there's a pool right-over-there. Not backing down, he takes another step forward toward Dave.]
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[but then, Dave finally goes ahead and tosses a strategy out into the air. because it's a verbal one.]
Hold that thought a second, Mufasa. Before you dunk me, I wanna ask you something.
[dude. that's the oldest trick in the book, you really think Ryuji's gonna fall for it.]
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Uhh...
[It might be the OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK, but he's still prone to fall for those, and he tilts his head to the side, 10 degrees pivoted from being upright in that way he usually does when he's thinking of something.
Yeah, doesn't strike him as odd at all.]
Sure. Whatcha got for me?
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[of course, even the best poker players have their tells. like how Dave folds his arms across his chest, pursing his lips, perhaps hinting that he's got his own dunking scheme currently whirring away in his head.]
Some jazz music, actually. Like, some jazz music that started playing out of no where in my room the other day.
You wouldn't know anything about that, huh?
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But he'll try it. He'll try this foreign, weird concept of "not telling the truth," and just shrug it off.]
... Dunno what the hell... y...you're talkin' about, dude.
[Except for the way that he audibly stutters in the middle of it. Or any number of the following giveaways:
-he doesn't look directly at Dave's shades
-he delayed a response that wasn't immediate and instinctive
-the upward change in ton of his voice at the word dude
Whatever, he's fucked.
It was a great prank.]
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[but yeah, it's true, it was a great prank, he'll admit it. and you can bet he'll also be using the space station AI responsibly to return the pranking favor.]
Really? I was gonna tell whoever was responsible thanks.
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Maybe Dave really liked the smooth stylings of jazz circa way too goddamn long ago. Maybe he had a dance party right then and there. Ryuji follows this train of thought, because he's gullible sometimes, and why would Dave ever lead him astray, right? Right?
He bites down on one corner of his lip, and nods. Well, if he was really into the entire thing, he definitely did Dave a favor.]
Must be that, uh. That station AI. Christy.
[Fuck, Ryuji. No.
That's not its name at all.]
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[it's Dave's turn to close the gap between them, then.]
Well, someone had to tell Kristoff which room to drop off some smooth jazz.
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Yeah, he's definitely making this really easy. His lips twitch, and he tries to straighten them out by force, restricting and forbidding the muscles in his mouth to start turning upward in concavity. He'll just... reach out, now that they're close enough and place a hand right on his shoulder.
If he's going down, he's going to at least try to take Dave with him.]
Maybe Crystal just likes that style of music, are we really gonna judge?
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[mutually assured destruction it is, then. what's Dave got to lose? Simba already dunked him to the murky depths once already today, may as well go down in a blaze of pseudo vengeful glory.]
I'm just saying, chatbots don't get random wild hairs about sharing their music tastes on their own, right? [Dave, don't ... don't call the station's AI a chatbot??]
I figure someone must have been, I dunno. Texting with Cynthia or something.
[he punctuates that by lifting his hand to his own shoulder, casually wrapping his fingers around the top of Ryuji's wrist.]
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I mean, technically speakin', I don't think Carol actually has hair.
[He can't believe Dave is insinuating musical infidelities with the station's chatbot. Whatever a chatbot was.]
But if someone were chatting her up, and I definitely ain't sayin' it was me, but if someone were, and the conversation just sorta went in that direction, then whoever that someone is, must've really wanted to share something kinda beautiful with you. I mean, I'd be, like, completely honored.
[Somehow he never saw this coming.
And his eyes follow toward that hand; the moment is near and he doesn't have enough time. Jig's up. Whatever happens, it'll be hot pursuit. He needs to react quickly to throw him off guard. Ryuji uses his other hand to pull Dave closer, hand against the skinny of his back. One hand raises up higher on his shoulder, and the second he can, he's going to aim to sweep him right off his feet.
That is, if Dave doesn't already have a plan up his sleeve.]
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[got it. but defensively speaking, from the perspective of his original intent here, which is to toss a dry boyfriend in the pool, Dave's kind of gotten himself in a precarious situation. a ... kind of nice one, actually, if you remove the threat of getting turbo dunked back in the deep end.]
[though, if he doesn't move from his current position, it wouldn't take much more than a grand sweeping gesture to send him sprawling backwards, and Ryuji is certainly strong enough to pull that off.]
[but Dave, as they are both well aware, is a dirty cheater.]
[he grabs hold of both of Ryuji's arms, trying to hold them best as he can against Ryuji's sides in an attempt to prevent him from moving well enough to pull off whatever maneuver he's gunning for. and if that doesn't work? he's battening down the hatches and refusing to let go.]
[it's a friendly warning, too. you know. a last chance to back down before Dave really starts cheating.]
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[He thought he established very early on that it wasn't hi...
yeah, okay, he can't even play it off any more. He smirks as Dave starts to control the threat in the room. That threat being Ryuji, of course.]
Yeah, fine, whatever, I did it.
[Uh.
Dave, what are you doing.]
This sure is like. A really weird effin' way to give a dude a hug. [And yet, he knows exactly what Dave's doing, playing coy about it isn't going to get himself anywhere near constructive.]
This is how you're supposed to do it. [He exerts opposing pressure against the constraining motion, and, yeah. One of those Newtonian laws he never learned about. For every action there's an opposite and equal reaction, right? Or, more importantly, what goes around fucking comes right back around.]
What're you. [IT'S NOT PANIC IN HIS VOICE AT ALL.] Dave, c'mon. Dude.
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