ryuji: (Default)
💀 skull ([personal profile] ryuji) wrote2018-02-01 01:24 pm

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bu773rfly: (32)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-25 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
[go for the jugular, why don't you.]

He's a good friend to me.
bu773rfly: (14)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-25 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
That would make it worse. His well-being doesn't take a back seat to my pride or his view of me or whatever.
bu773rfly: (31)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-25 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
[sometimes your true self sucks tho.]

He makes self-disparaging comments a lot. Unrealistic ones. Nothing to call a crisis over, but it's a weird pattern.

I'm not equipped to help him, but I don't just want to ignore it, either. You don't have to do anything special. All I wanted to know was that he has a fairly close friend.
bu773rfly: (Default)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-25 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
[you can migrate through multiple states of suckage.

also WHY]


It's just normal concern. The alternative is ignoring it completely and that's a poor way to repay him for being friendly.
bu773rfly: (Default)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-26 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
[oh my god.]

Step 1 to building a decent relationship with someone is not treating them like a kid.

I'm not stupid. I just have boundaries.
Edited 2018-05-26 05:03 (UTC)
bu773rfly: (Default)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-26 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
You're not going to "work on" me. I'm not a project. Hinata can feel how he wants about it.

Obviously I don't "need" to repay him. Obviously he makes his own choices. This is about me choosing who I want to get attached to and how much, and before you decide to lecture me on that too, I don't know you and it's not your business.

I'm sorry for being harsh, but not sorry enough to bite my tongue.
bu773rfly: (Default)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-26 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
I don't want you to treat him like a project. I wanted to know that he had a friend who was good at being a friend.

It's fine.
[it's not] You hit a button. This is the kind of thing I meant about being no good at talking things out, or being reassuring. We don't have to be friends for me to trust that you're kind to Hinata.
bu773rfly: (Default)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-26 06:20 am (UTC)(link)
I said it's fine. It happens. There's nothing that unusual about what you said.

I'm not opposed to the idea. I just can't jump into friendship right away like that, a stranger being overfamiliar doesn't make them not a stranger anymore. It feels fake, and I hate faking things.
bu773rfly: (Default)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-26 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
Pariah is the right word.

I don't mind. It's enlightening. Reading doesn't cost me anything.

A few years ago I was in the hospital for a while and it wasn't something I could hide from people. Whenever they find that out about you, they start treating you like you're fragile, but somehow it ends with you taking on the burden of all their upset. It burns you out. Even sincere feelings have unintended consequences. And everything you touch gets all tangled up in your own problems.

So even when it's real, it's hard to keep up with. Doing favors for people is easier. The payoff is more reliable. It's not about thinking you don't need friends, it's about working within your limits.

Speaking of paying things back.
bu773rfly: (Default)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-26 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[...His heart's in the right place, but...]

You told me something personal, I told you something personal. Or you made me read that, I make you read this. Whatever way you want to look at it.

It was just a joke. Don't wind yourself up over it.

Is Ren "joker" on the network?
bu773rfly: (Default)

[personal profile] bu773rfly 2018-05-27 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
You did seem close.

We'll talk some other time. Thanks for hearing me out.