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💀 skull ([personal profile] ryuji) wrote2018-02-01 01:24 pm

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oculusriffs: catrente @ tumblr (stupid rotating hate date plan)

[personal profile] oculusriffs 2018-07-20 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[leave it to Ryuji to crack the kind of joke that would put Dave at ease, even as he's also asking questions that don't really have easy, or pleasant, answers.]

Dunno how to answer these without being kinda blunt. [and maybe it's better if he just goes ahead and is blunt. maybe it'll get easier to talk anything out if he does, like when you have wound that needs healing, but you have to tear through a lot of pain to even get to that point.]

Yeah, I'll own up to it — I'm a damn dirty cheater. Kinda had to be, for things to wind up the way they did. Scratching a session is sorta like ... I dunno, resetting your game without saving and starting over. Or wiping your computer and having to rebuild your music library — it'll look the same in a lot of ways, but it also won't be built up exactly how it was before.

You have to cheat if you want to wind up on the other side of it. [they were the only bits of coding that remained from the original session. the data that defied the regular rules and escaped erasure, if only because it's something they were slated to do all along.]

[that's just one of those things you don't realize was intended until you look back on it. it wasn't really something he was expecting to survive, anyway, considering the way he and Rose had been arguing over who got to be the exploding Bruce Willis of their soon-to-be-rewritten session. the only way those troll ghosts were able to survive their Scratch was by dying, which. wow, that's a really dumb sentence i just typed.]

[Dave sort of feels like he's being a buzzkill now. like maybe this wasn't a really good idea. but he doesn't want to leave Ryuji's other questions hanging, either.]


But like I said, I don't really get why a lot of shit happens the way it does. I'm sure Rose explained why the new session was so far away, but fuck if I remember what it was.

And — yeah, I guess? He had his own shit to do, though, based on what Dirk's told me, and that didn't include Sburb. I couldn't really tell you what he was like, or really anything he did other than a few little things.
Edited 2018-07-20 22:07 (UTC)
oculusriffs: ectobiolodaddy @ tumblr (what are you doing)

[personal profile] oculusriffs 2018-07-21 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ryuji may or may not realize just how badly Dave needed to hear that. it's easy to dismiss yourself when the collective universes do the exact same, and make it very clear that you were just a means to an end, that you aren't the one who's going to go on to actually win, to do whatever it is the Dave who isn't him is supposed to. like he's an inkpen that was tossed aside in favor of a better one, because the ink ran dry and there was no fight left in it.]

[but that means exactly jackshit here, doesn't it? this isn't the dream bubbles, there's no army of ghosts to be joining up with to fight the Incredible Hulk, and he hated that idea anyway. even if that were something he was meant to go back and get involved in, it's not like he would know which direction to start flying from here.]

[it's the tiniest of sparks in the pit of misery of what it means to be a time player — or just a player of Sburb in general. the sacrifices that have to be made. that particular end goal isn't his anymore, but ... that doesn't have to mean he's been denied one entirely. right?]

[boy, that sounds. hopelessly hopeful. kind of cheesy to boot. and it'll take a while for him to really believe it in a meaningful capacity. but even if Dave doesn't know what the hell his end goal actually is, it kind of feels like Ryuji has turned him around and at least pointed in the direction he should start walking.]


Yeah. Complete butthead. [does this count as dunking yourself???]

A lot of it was completely shitty, you're right. But it wasn't all terrible. My friends all lived really far away from me, so it was cool to be able to hang out in person. Or at least know that they were somewhere in the same space I was.

Wrote some of my best raps on that meteor, too. [it's The Little Things.]
oculusriffs: catrente @ tumblr (he looks dead)

[personal profile] oculusriffs 2018-07-23 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
[if Dave and Ryuji hadn't pretty much immediately gotten into a physical thumb war altercation the second they first met, and if Ryuji had not placed an affable hand on his shoulder after holding a somber service for their fallen burrito comrade, then Dave might be reacting a lot differently to the contact now.]

[and, well — okay, this sort of has a lot of different connotations along with the usual ones, and yeah, he can't help tensing for a split second because of that.]

[this is ... okay, right? he thinks it might be okay. it somehow feels like this is really, officially, unwinding every single idea he'd ever had about himself, the way he thought he was, the way he thought he's supposed to be, and for that same split second it also feels like he can't breathe. just when he thought he had everything about himself, about his own place in the universe, figured out, Ryuji goes and turns it all on its side, and now he has no idea what to do about anything. like, suddenly, the last thing he wants to do is just accept what he's supposed to as a byproduct of a doomed timeline.]

[wait, shit — he just leaned in closer without realizing, didn't he? turns out while Dave's brain was panicking about whether this was really okay, the rest of him went ahead and decided that it was — it was something he desperately wanted, in fact. hearts, right.]

[there really is no keeping Ryuji at an arm's length, as it turns out. he'll be trying to sort out when he even made that decision for a while. also, try breathing, Dave. let's not have a repeat of last month.]


You're right — both those things you just said, I mean. [he'll be sorting out how entirely lame he is later, too.]
oculusriffs: unknown (go ahead and be relieved)

[personal profile] oculusriffs 2018-07-27 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
[it almost feels like Ryuji had him in some sort of sleeper hold there, that if he had held on to Dave a little longer, he could have actually fallen asleep and Ryuji would have gotten the scenario he had been imagining. it is getting late, and they have been listening to music for a while. it doesn't ... really seem like he's overstayed his welcome, though, if he's reading the room right?]

[but he blinks, sitting himself up straighter, as if he isn't really sure what just happened, or can't really fathom it. he's getting a bit tired, but it doesn't really matter, because he's going to be up the entire simulated night trying to sort out what happened anyway — or rather, how he actually feels about it. just lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, racing from one explanation or feeling to the next.]

[but then, Ryuji goes and says that, and Dave, smirking in that low-key way that he does, just can't help himself.]


Yeah, okay.

[there's a pause, there, conveniently punctuated by the equally short pause in between songs.]

You've gotta actually keep being right, though.