[Wait, what? He LOVES ACTION MOVIES; he's seen so many of them he can barely keep track of the more memorable ones, but it doesn't really make sense as to what beards have to do with dating dudes, let alone how they can actually burn you? He doesn't know the plight of being rubbed up against like sandpaper, because he's never had that experience and he never thought he'd ever have to, and here comes Ren, rolling in like a WRECKING BALL.
What are you.
Why is he getting closer.
Why is he pulling him in?
What's going---
ON????
WHY IS HE LIKE THIS.]
ACK. AH, REN. GODDAMNIT, WHAT THE FUCK.
[Congrats, you got a rare fuck out of him.]
THAT FEELS HORRIBLE.
[He immediately tries to push at his chest, to get him off of him. This is what Lisa's tongue must feel like against his cheek, and it's not the life he was thinking that would be relevant to him any time soon.]
Dude, when did you get the willpower to even grow that shit!? [Ryuji's still a little bit behind in the development stages of Becoming a Man (tm), so he can't really commiserate with Ren's subtle growth.]
Shit, is that what your boyfriend used to do you?!
[ Ren is doing you a favor, my guy, trust him. You don't want to go in for the first smooch and be caught completely unawares by The Stubble. The lost lands where brave lips tread too far out of safety and into its abrasive embrace. Ren is honestly bewildered that Ryuji's never heard of it, maybe because the romance novel he read was focused on a man and woman and by and large fantasy writing will stick to describing the woman, not the face sandpaper the woman has to deal with, so. THE MORE YOU KNOW ★
But Ren? Ren's cackling and releases Ryuji fast enough, pressing a fist up to his mouth to contain the pure evil within. ]
Dude, you don't need willpower, you need a complete void of it while The Bee Gees scrape out the rest of your will to live, too.
But nah, not really. Well I say "boyfriend" but we were more, uh. Casual than that?
[ God, Ren hasn't thought about him for over a year, probably going on two on the scoreboard. A wry smile turns his mouth lopsided, scratching the back of his head like he needed the help shaking details loose, that's how much of an impact this guy has on who Ren is now. ]
I crushed on him hard in middle school and sorta followed him around like a puppy. He hit a growth spurt before the rest of us and he was really good looking, you know? I got to stick around but I don't think he liked me too much. You don't have to like people when they like you just fine for not even doing anything, right.
And then it's a small town, so of course we go to the same high school. And we sort of - got together. [ Is he using a lot of qualifiers? Shrug. ] He wouldn't let me sit with him and his friends at lunch. Or walk with me or anything, but we made out a lot and, uh. Other stuff. I don't think he told anyone.
[ Again, shrug. ]
I guess I didn't either. So, uh - yeah you just have to watch for The Burn when you feel like you're, y'know, gonna kiss 'em, kay?
[DUDE... it is way, way, way too soon to start cracking jokes about any form of music.]
Ugh... it's gonna takes weeks for me to ever wanna listen to anything at this rate.
[Spice Girls are on the perma-ban list. He looks down at his smartwatch, half considering just... uninstalling his mp3 library. Except, really, that would be shooting himself in the foot and acting rash without really figuring out the long term benefits of music and chill. Listen, Webflix isn't a thing up here.]
Yeah, man. I dunno about small town life but it seems kinda like you gotta do that sorta thing if you have a pretty non-conformin' type of relationship deal going on. But... screw that.
[Ryuji's not about to start organizing pride parades or anything here- he's still coming to terms with coming out to begin with, but... he could totally see why dating someone you couldn't even hold hands with in public is just. Not fun? Bad?
There were so many toxic things from their own world that could be shed up here, on the station. No society to tell them what to do or not do. No adults to reinforce pressure on acting the "right" way. From that perspective, Ren and Ryuji could both just... figure out anything they wanted to about themselves. Have chances where they might not have back home.
He smiles supportively and drapes an arm over him.]
Hey man. You're still gonna sit with me at lunch, right?
[You better fucking believe it.]
E---eh!? Whoa, dude, you're jumpin' the gun here. I haven't even thought about tellin' him how I feel. Kissing is like. I.
[ #Toosoon. Ren doesn't even have a mp3 played to curse and threaten to run underneath the replicator goop nozzle. Ren's grinning in spite of himself, letting Ryuji tease him out of a year that was largely forgettable compared to what came after. ]
As long as you're good with still rooming with someone that thinks you're ~*~totally dreamy~*~ then sure, lunch? Total bro affair.
And yeah, well. Now that you found a new and shiny thing you'll get excited for it, so don't worry 'bout that. Guess just don't do it like me and it'll be fine.
[ Take a wink and pay no attention to the sad man behind the curtain.
But Ren's fucked up because he doesn't have a follow up to that right away so here he is caught with his foot in the beat between thought and action, admiring his valiant attempt at being encouraging amidst dejection like a basketball player admires the arc of their throw toward the net and it hasn't quite swished yet.
And Ren's always been guilty of enjoying when Ryuji's hand is bumped off the genki boy mask and he's adorably overloaded til he gets his cool back. Ostensibly what Ren said should've helped and soon enough it'll abate, and because Ren hid it before it'd be the right thing to do to hide it now.
But his foot's caught, and for a few moments he forgets to not be selfish and just... looks. With his heart right there in his eyes and tugging up half his mouth, and it's no secret between them that he's the only one Ren'd unburden himself of the leader mantle in front of. Crush or no that's their relationship: built on absolute trust, letting them dispense with pretenses of being strong or clever or blindingly loyal and taking it as a baseline for other things they need to chew on and work out aloud.
It's too late to trust Ryuji with not breaking his heart, but he instinctively has put himself into the palm of Ryuji's hands with what remains anyway. That it won't go away, but even as the light returns to Ren's eyes and he realizes he's what he's doing, he knows he'll be able to live with it and try not to have expectations beyond that.
Ren blinks, turns away, and clears his throat as he starts climbing back to his feet to shake off Ryuji's arm. ]
Y'know, I'm kinda not feeling it anymore? Wanna cut right to lunch and try again after?
[ Ren's already turned around though and offered his hand. ]
[The stank face he's making right now at those two sentences are something so legendarily Ryuji that it's practically about to jump out and smack Ren upside the head with it.]
What the...
[He doesn't know why the words "new and shiny" really fucking bother him, like he didn't vomit up how he felt to Ren enough times over the course of their friendship over the last year to make it stick... or something. So before he gets to dismissing the entire affair and offering to grab some grub, he pauses, looks over and does the deed of reminding him of something that's so incredibly important to him, on Earth as it is in Space Heaven.]
You know what we got isn't some fashion fad, right, dude? Like you said that, and I know you're jokin', 'cause you're hash-tag Joker. But no matter what happens, don't go forgetting what I told ya. My place is next to you.
And no one's gonna replace that.
[He'll say it again and again until he's blue in the face, because it's a cornerstone. Take that cornerstone out and the house tumbles.
But with the reminder out there in the open, he sighs, and nods.]
Yeah, let's go eat. All this talk is makin' me hungry for some meat.
[ It's probably because man that subconscious fear is coming to light. Ren thinks he was referring to kissing and couple-y stuff, but how it inflects his voice is a much higher percentage of you found someone else and you won't need me anymore than he'll ever admit. Whether because it had merit on its own based on his past experiences or because he's (willingly or not) conflating romantic interest with some invisible scale and he's terrified of being on the wrong side of it, knowing what he knows now that he's declared his interest.
It's pretty shameful to doubt Ryuji like that. Freaking irrational and Ren acknowledges it as much as he acknowledges that the vulnerability this has got him down to has a rare insecurity wheeling out of control. But Ryuji's assurances - the thing he's heard time and again and needs to hear right now, well. That train pulls into the station on schedule just fine.
Ren sighs out some of the guilt and anxiety and hopes that'll be the last he sees of this particular worry. Stop chipping away at the cornerstone, Amamiya. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
What are you.
Why is he getting closer.
Why is he pulling him in?
What's going---
ON????
WHY IS HE LIKE THIS.]
ACK. AH, REN. GODDAMNIT, WHAT THE FUCK.
[Congrats, you got a rare fuck out of him.]
THAT FEELS HORRIBLE.
[He immediately tries to push at his chest, to get him off of him. This is what Lisa's tongue must feel like against his cheek, and it's not the life he was thinking that would be relevant to him any time soon.]
Dude, when did you get the willpower to even grow that shit!? [Ryuji's still a little bit behind in the development stages of Becoming a Man (tm), so he can't really commiserate with Ren's subtle growth.]
Shit, is that what your boyfriend used to do you?!
[Reconsiders this whole relationship thing.]
no subject
But Ren? Ren's cackling and releases Ryuji fast enough, pressing a fist up to his mouth to contain the pure evil within. ]
Dude, you don't need willpower, you need a complete void of it while The Bee Gees scrape out the rest of your will to live, too.
But nah, not really. Well I say "boyfriend" but we were more, uh. Casual than that?
[ God, Ren hasn't thought about him for over a year, probably going on two on the scoreboard. A wry smile turns his mouth lopsided, scratching the back of his head like he needed the help shaking details loose, that's how much of an impact this guy has on who Ren is now. ]
I crushed on him hard in middle school and sorta followed him around like a puppy. He hit a growth spurt before the rest of us and he was really good looking, you know? I got to stick around but I don't think he liked me too much. You don't have to like people when they like you just fine for not even doing anything, right.
And then it's a small town, so of course we go to the same high school. And we sort of - got together. [ Is he using a lot of qualifiers? Shrug. ] He wouldn't let me sit with him and his friends at lunch. Or walk with me or anything, but we made out a lot and, uh. Other stuff. I don't think he told anyone.
[ Again, shrug. ]
I guess I didn't either. So, uh - yeah you just have to watch for The Burn when you feel like you're, y'know, gonna kiss 'em, kay?
no subject
Ugh... it's gonna takes weeks for me to ever wanna listen to anything at this rate.
[Spice Girls are on the perma-ban list. He looks down at his smartwatch, half considering just... uninstalling his mp3 library. Except, really, that would be shooting himself in the foot and acting rash without really figuring out the long term benefits of music and chill. Listen, Webflix isn't a thing up here.]
Yeah, man. I dunno about small town life but it seems kinda like you gotta do that sorta thing if you have a pretty non-conformin' type of relationship deal going on. But... screw that.
[Ryuji's not about to start organizing pride parades or anything here- he's still coming to terms with coming out to begin with, but... he could totally see why dating someone you couldn't even hold hands with in public is just. Not fun? Bad?
There were so many toxic things from their own world that could be shed up here, on the station. No society to tell them what to do or not do. No adults to reinforce pressure on acting the "right" way. From that perspective, Ren and Ryuji could both just... figure out anything they wanted to about themselves. Have chances where they might not have back home.
He smiles supportively and drapes an arm over him.]
Hey man. You're still gonna sit with me at lunch, right?
[You better fucking believe it.]
E---eh!? Whoa, dude, you're jumpin' the gun here. I haven't even thought about tellin' him how I feel. Kissing is like. I.
[WHELP, flustered is a good color for Ryuji.]
That sorta stuff is too much!!
no subject
As long as you're good with still rooming with someone that thinks you're ~*~totally dreamy~*~ then sure, lunch? Total bro affair.
And yeah, well. Now that you found a new and shiny thing you'll get excited for it, so don't worry 'bout that. Guess just don't do it like me and it'll be fine.
[ Take a wink and pay no attention to the sad man behind the curtain.
But Ren's fucked up because he doesn't have a follow up to that right away so here he is caught with his foot in the beat between thought and action, admiring his valiant attempt at being encouraging amidst dejection like a basketball player admires the arc of their throw toward the net and it hasn't quite swished yet.
And Ren's always been guilty of enjoying when Ryuji's hand is bumped off the genki boy mask and he's adorably overloaded til he gets his cool back. Ostensibly what Ren said should've helped and soon enough it'll abate, and because Ren hid it before it'd be the right thing to do to hide it now.
But his foot's caught, and for a few moments he forgets to not be selfish and just... looks. With his heart right there in his eyes and tugging up half his mouth, and it's no secret between them that he's the only one Ren'd unburden himself of the leader mantle in front of. Crush or no that's their relationship: built on absolute trust, letting them dispense with pretenses of being strong or clever or blindingly loyal and taking it as a baseline for other things they need to chew on and work out aloud.
It's too late to trust Ryuji with not breaking his heart, but he instinctively has put himself into the palm of Ryuji's hands with what remains anyway. That it won't go away, but even as the light returns to Ren's eyes and he realizes he's what he's doing, he knows he'll be able to live with it and try not to have expectations beyond that.
Ren blinks, turns away, and clears his throat as he starts climbing back to his feet to shake off Ryuji's arm. ]
Y'know, I'm kinda not feeling it anymore? Wanna cut right to lunch and try again after?
[ Ren's already turned around though and offered his hand. ]
no subject
What the...
[He doesn't know why the words "new and shiny" really fucking bother him, like he didn't vomit up how he felt to Ren enough times over the course of their friendship over the last year to make it stick... or something. So before he gets to dismissing the entire affair and offering to grab some grub, he pauses, looks over and does the deed of reminding him of something that's so incredibly important to him, on Earth as it is in Space Heaven.]
You know what we got isn't some fashion fad, right, dude? Like you said that, and I know you're jokin', 'cause you're hash-tag Joker. But no matter what happens, don't go forgetting what I told ya. My place is next to you.
And no one's gonna replace that.
[He'll say it again and again until he's blue in the face, because it's a cornerstone. Take that cornerstone out and the house tumbles.
But with the reminder out there in the open, he sighs, and nods.]
Yeah, let's go eat. All this talk is makin' me hungry for some meat.
no subject
It's pretty shameful to doubt Ryuji like that. Freaking irrational and Ren acknowledges it as much as he acknowledges that the vulnerability this has got him down to has a rare insecurity wheeling out of control. But Ryuji's assurances - the thing he's heard time and again and needs to hear right now, well. That train pulls into the station on schedule just fine.
Ren sighs out some of the guilt and anxiety and hopes that'll be the last he sees of this particular worry. Stop chipping away at the cornerstone, Amamiya. ]
Yeah. Same goes for you, always.