[He looks on incredulously at the sweeping motion, the elongation and pronunciation of Dave's name, like some supervillian in a movie who's sitting behind a swivel chair, speaking of his archnemesis, complete with a 20 minute segue into how he's going to trap the superhero into one of his dastardly plans, and... oh wait, the hero's already escaped on a boat he's stolen and Gundam is just left here with a yappy dog who was pissed that the door was being knocked on in the first place.
A blink.]
You...
[Wait, let him get this straight.]
You don't even know the name of the guy who lives here and yet you came lookin' for some weird ass crystals or some shit to complete a dark ritual?
Do you think this is effin' Halloween or something!?
[Dave could have had that CLASSIC SUPER VILLAIN experience if he'd woken up and delivered the toilet paper rolls as they arranged previously!]
How many times must I explain myself! My intentions here have been laid bare already, fool!
[Gundam's so obtuse he didn't think there was anything heinous going on just because Ryuji slept here... but. His constant re-directions and refusal to provide any answer...
This is the behavior of a man guilty of something.]
Why do you try to evade my questions with such uninspired distractions? Where is he who shall henceforth be referred to as the Immortal ...Dave?!
[Gundam peers up and over Ryuji's head, which isn't that hard since he's taller, trying to see if he can spot a glimpse of Dave.]
Why are you even here?! What business do you have that requires sleeping in his room?!
[What the hell is he doing now!? Ryuji tries to block his view- he doesn't feel guilty of anything, that's for sure, but he does try standing on his tippy toes to block view into his room, because, Gundam... that's weird, give a dude some privacy.
Which is kind of apt and not ironic at all that a few weeks ago, Ryuji found Gundam's handbook and did this exact same thing, even pushing Gundam with his aggressive personality to admit that he wasn't a serial killer.]
If you wake him up, I'm gonna kick your ass.
[It's said so matter of factly, like this wasn't even a threat, just Ryuji telling him how it's going to go down if he keeps exclaiming so loudly.
And... you don't want another noise citation, right?]
Huh? [He raises an eyebrow at Gundam's question, because unlike his Icy Cockytus friend over here, he can, and then suddenly feels a little bit flustered at all of this? He could talk about shoving his tongue down the Singularity's throat with no problem at all, but this is a little awkward suddenly. But he's also really, really shit at lying, so it just comes out with a natural explanation-]
I'm here 'cause I was sleeping here. [The obvious answer...] Y'know, like. With my boyfriend?
[Gundam's first instinct is that Ryuji somehow killed Dave and for some reason the pajamas are simply part of some elaborate distraction--!!
After a moment he realizes how unlikely that is. The amount of time he spent on that island probably warped his perception of how he perceives certain behaviors... things like that didn't happen here.
He'll stop trying to investigate Dave's room over Ryuji's head.]
[Killing Dave is literally the opposite of what Ryuji would ever think of doing, and he can see those gears turning in Gundam's head, hoping that he doesn't---
annnnd he does. Goddamnit. Great, Ryuji's blushing, Gundam's blushing, yelling at the top of his lungs- which, the blond had warned him exactly not to do this- and he quickly moves forward, placing his hand right over the other's mouth to shoosh him. He looks over his shoulder into the room to see if Dave's still sleeping.]
Shuddap! [He looks at Gundam, determined. Ryuji would be easy to displace with one good push, but for now--] Keep your voice down, c'mon. What's the big deal? I mean, it's not that weird... to date... guys. [OH GOD HIS BLUSHING IS GETTING WORSE.]
[Gundam stiffens entirely when Ryuji gets his hand over his mouth. It's immediate. That feeling of unbearable pressure he couldn't stand clenching down around him--!!
Without a second thought, Gundam panics and shoves Ryuji off with way more force than was necessary.]
[so Dave's got two modes of sleep that he operates on: the first and much more frequent mode is a bit more like a bird, where he only sort of half sleeps, like he's listening for potential danger.]
[the other, much rarer mode, like how he was in during this current exchange, is the "so comfortable he sleeps like the dead mode." which is to say, there's so much shouting going on that it can wake the dead?]
[he sits up, not really registering what's going on, what the arguing is about, or the fact that he's got some pretty great bedhead, because he's kind of still half asleep. but he does register Gundam's very loud voice, and he does seem to register. uh.]
[..........]
[ah, shit, he forgot about their deal.]
[Dave slides out of bed, shuffles to his desk and gathers something up in his arms. then he shuffles to the door, shuffles past Ryuji and deposits about ten empty toilet paper tubes into Gundam's arms.]
Here.
[still not fully awake, over here. also, it's suddenly apparent why the hallway is carpeted in toilet paper.]
[He's pushed back, and it catches him by surprise as his shoulders hit the door frame. The anger flares up in his eyes, and as good as he has been at controlling his temper here, figuring the station was a new beginning and a new chance not to be such a hotheaded dick, he's raring to strike back. He doesn't even need his persona for this- his fist is clenched and---
What the fuck?
Toilet paper rolls. That's the spell components Gundam was talking about!?
THIS IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS. But first thing's first, he really needs to settle something because the word traitor really, really doesn't fucking sit well with him at all. Especially as someone that's been betrayed more than once in his life.]
This is so effin' stupid. [It's also way, way too early for this. He still thinks the singularity is some made up concept that Gundam pulls out of his ass for theatrics.]
I ain't effin' betraying nobody! What the hell's gotten into you, man?! This whole singularity shit is a joke, isn't it?
[Is he actually being the voice of reason right now.]
[Once that's taken care of Gundam resumes his fighting stance, waiting for Ryuji to strike.]
Long ago a cursed being destined to be rejected and shunned by everything and everyone was borne into this world. He was a being so loathsome, so cursed that even his body itself grew to be poisonous. Mere mortals would immediately decompose and wither away into nothingness at his touch. Believing that there was no mortal capable of being close to him without bringing calamity onto them, The Supreme Overlord of Ice resigned himself to isolation--
Prophecies foretold an entity who could make the impossible possible… by overcoming various limitations. By remaining in close proximity to the Supreme Overlord of Ice this being could drastically change the course of his destiny and transform his very soul… the only mortal capable of ending his isolation.
Prior to our ascension to the outer realms of this universe a most sacred contract was forged! Two beings unified by unspeakable tragedies! Now trapped within the confines of a most insidious house of fun! Clinging stead fast to the last vestiges of life as death hung around them waiting with baited breath for them to succumb to their inevitable fates!
This is where the contract was forged, the moment in which I imbued the Singularity with my power! Where I swore to him that he will never be allowed to perish without my permission!
And on this day, Ryuji Sakamoto, you have violated your obligation to him and thus must pay the price at my hands! I swore that as long as I draw breath no harm shall befall him-- that no one shall ever betray the Singularity;
[Dave says pretty much what Ryuji was thinking, because it takes a few minutes for him to wade through all that bullshit to figure out what the hell the point any of that was about, and then it hits him.
Oh god, does it hit him.]
...
[He's quiet for a moment, before he just takes his hand up to his mouth and stifles the god awful sound that's threatening to come straight out of it. Okay, little by little.]
You.
[Holy shit, where does he even begin with any of this???]
You mean the Singularity.
[Oh god. It's like a damn about to break.]
YOU MEAN THE SINGULARITY IS HAJIME!?
[Part of him is broken, like a file that failed to compile itself correctly, and the only resultant of that lack of control is straight up, purely pristine fucked up amounts of laughter.]
And you... holy shit.
You thought I was.
[YOU THOUGHT HE WAS MACKING IT WITH HAJIME ON THE DAILY? Looking into the deep abyss and sticking his tongue down his throat? Coalescing with the darkest form of the Lovecraftian gods beyond the abyss? Seriously? Seriously.]
Dude, I... I hate to break it to you and everything, but, like. Nah. I never... with Hajime!? No way, man. Uh. Yeah, sorry, bro. It sounds like what you two got is pretty tight though. But we definitely aren't like. Doing any of that shit.
[Dave's got about ... three context clues here to try to put together a coherent story, and he's. yeah, he still has no fucking idea what's going on, and can only offer a confused interjection as he looks between the two.]
[how many shit sin tubes is it gonna take to get a rundown like. delivered in a way he can understand?? maybe the TP's respawned.]
[There really isn't a good way to explain the absolute stupidity that it took to get to this point, but after Ryuji settles down from the big reveal of who the Singularity is, he opens his mouth to explain, and then just... sort of laughs again.
Sorry, give him a second to regain composure. Gundam's here about to blow his gasket cap, and Dave has no clue what's going on-- but there should be a way that he could settle both things at the same time, no additional shit sin tubes required. Or make it more confusing, honestly, it's a mixed bag at this point.
But as he's trying to figure out the best course of action, something pings Ryuji from their interaction during the dark times of the previous month and things start falling into place.]
You thought you gave me that virus via Hajime, huh.
Ohhh... shit, it kinda makes sense now. Dude, Gundam, you asked if I held hands with this Singularity thing and I swear, I had no goddamn clue what the hell you were talkin' about. You say some pretty out there effin' stuff, I thought you were just... messing around and talking about some sorta eldritch horror thingy.
[He's almost certain that Gundam wasn't patient zero. Ryuji's symptoms hit way, way too fast for that to be the case, and Hajime's form had him turning into a ghost, like Dave.]
I had no idea you meant Hajime. Man... he's a good guy 'n all, and probably like, one of my best bros around here? But I ain't... yeah, I don't like him like that, and if I knew you were talking about him I never woulda joked around like that. Uh, sorry. I'm kinda incredibly loyal to this immortal... hamster god? Valhalla guy? What the hell was it. [He tilts his head over to Dave, apologizing to him too. It's not really his fault that Gundam started a shouting match, but he still feels liable for it.]
Also, can you like, maybe wait until after noon to start bangin' on doors.
[Apparently this is what life is like when Ryuji is the most knowledgeable person in the room. Gundam's angry, Dave's confused, and there is toilet paper strewn absolutely everywhere.]
If you failed to comprehend what I was inquiring, why would you just make up something like-- [Gundam's entire face goes red again, just remembering the exchange.] --like THAT?
[It was so intimate. So graphic. So... so... utterly-- Gundam yanks his scarf up again.]
--GCK!!
CURSE YOU FOR EVER BURNING THOSE INSIDIOUS IMAGES INTO THIS TEMPORARY FORM'S MIND!
I would sooner take the visage of a thousand of the most nightmarish eldritch horrors wreaking havoc upon this mind!
[Especially if it meant having THAT erased from his memory.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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A blink.]
You...
[Wait, let him get this straight.]
You don't even know the name of the guy who lives here and yet you came lookin' for some weird ass crystals or some shit to complete a dark ritual?
Do you think this is effin' Halloween or something!?
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How many times must I explain myself! My intentions here have been laid bare already, fool!
[Gundam's so obtuse he didn't think there was anything heinous going on just because Ryuji slept here... but. His constant re-directions and refusal to provide any answer...
This is the behavior of a man guilty of something.]
Why do you try to evade my questions with such uninspired distractions? Where is he who shall henceforth be referred to as the Immortal ...Dave?!
[Gundam peers up and over Ryuji's head, which isn't that hard since he's taller, trying to see if he can spot a glimpse of Dave.]
Why are you even here?! What business do you have that requires sleeping in his room?!
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Which is kind of apt and not ironic at all that a few weeks ago, Ryuji found Gundam's handbook and did this exact same thing, even pushing Gundam with his aggressive personality to admit that he wasn't a serial killer.]
If you wake him up, I'm gonna kick your ass.
[It's said so matter of factly, like this wasn't even a threat, just Ryuji telling him how it's going to go down if he keeps exclaiming so loudly.
And... you don't want another noise citation, right?]
Huh? [He raises an eyebrow at Gundam's question, because unlike his Icy Cockytus friend over here, he can, and then suddenly feels a little bit flustered at all of this? He could talk about shoving his tongue down the Singularity's throat with no problem at all, but this is a little awkward suddenly. But he's also really, really shit at lying, so it just comes out with a natural explanation-]
I'm here 'cause I was sleeping here. [The obvious answer...] Y'know, like. With my boyfriend?
1/3
After a moment he realizes how unlikely that is. The amount of time he spent on that island probably warped his perception of how he perceives certain behaviors... things like that didn't happen here.
He'll stop trying to investigate Dave's room over Ryuji's head.]
...hm.
2/3
...ah.
[That answer would make sense? He supposes? He's never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
Gundam's cheeks flush red from embarrassment, regretting getting so worked up over something so mundane. So natural. So... so--]
yeah i lied 3/4
4/4
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annnnd he does. Goddamnit. Great, Ryuji's blushing, Gundam's blushing, yelling at the top of his lungs- which, the blond had warned him exactly not to do this- and he quickly moves forward, placing his hand right over the other's mouth to shoosh him. He looks over his shoulder into the room to see if Dave's still sleeping.]
Shuddap! [He looks at Gundam, determined. Ryuji would be easy to displace with one good push, but for now--] Keep your voice down, c'mon. What's the big deal? I mean, it's not that weird... to date... guys. [OH GOD HIS BLUSHING IS GETTING WORSE.]
1/3
Without a second thought, Gundam panics and shoves Ryuji off with way more force than was necessary.]
GCK--!!
2/3
YOU!
You have already pledged your eternal devotion to another!
3/3
DON'T MESS WITH ME!
For all your proclamations of honesty--!! You were the most insidious traitor of all!
The Singularity does not deserve to be betrayed! I, Gundam Tanaka, will not stand for this!
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[the other, much rarer mode, like how he was in during this current exchange, is the "so comfortable he sleeps like the dead mode." which is to say, there's so much shouting going on that it can wake the dead?]
[he sits up, not really registering what's going on, what the arguing is about, or the fact that he's got some pretty great bedhead, because he's kind of still half asleep. but he does register Gundam's very loud voice, and he does seem to register. uh.]
[..........]
[ah, shit, he forgot about their deal.]
[Dave slides out of bed, shuffles to his desk and gathers something up in his arms. then he shuffles to the door, shuffles past Ryuji and deposits about ten empty toilet paper tubes into Gundam's arms.]
Here.
[still not fully awake, over here. also, it's suddenly apparent why the hallway is carpeted in toilet paper.]
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What the fuck?
Toilet paper rolls. That's the spell components Gundam was talking about!?
THIS IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS. But first thing's first, he really needs to settle something because the word traitor really, really doesn't fucking sit well with him at all. Especially as someone that's been betrayed more than once in his life.]
This is so effin' stupid. [It's also way, way too early for this. He still thinks the singularity is some made up concept that Gundam pulls out of his ass for theatrics.]
I ain't effin' betraying nobody! What the hell's gotten into you, man?! This whole singularity shit is a joke, isn't it?
[Is he actually being the voice of reason right now.]
1/?? im not committing
2/???
Gundam takes a moment to remove his four hamsters from his scarf and gently place them among the toilet paper strewn about in a safer location.]
3/6... maybe?
Long ago a cursed being destined to be rejected and shunned by everything and everyone was borne into this world. He was a being so loathsome, so cursed that even his body itself grew to be poisonous. Mere mortals would immediately decompose and wither away into nothingness at his touch. Believing that there was no mortal capable of being close to him without bringing calamity onto them, The Supreme Overlord of Ice resigned himself to isolation--
4/6
The toilet paper rolls.]
...?
[Ten even? ...wow.]
Most impressive he who shall be known as... Dave.
[Gundam pulls his scarf up a bit with his free hand-- his cheeks tinged pink again.] ...Thank you.
5/6
...Yet!
Prophecies foretold an entity who could make the impossible possible… by overcoming various limitations. By remaining in close proximity to the Supreme Overlord of Ice this being could drastically change the course of his destiny and transform his very soul… the only mortal capable of ending his isolation.
This being was The Singularity!
6/6
This is where the contract was forged, the moment in which I imbued the Singularity with my power! Where I swore to him that he will never be allowed to perish without my permission!
And on this day, Ryuji Sakamoto, you have violated your obligation to him and thus must pay the price at my hands! I swore that as long as I draw breath no harm shall befall him-- that no one shall ever betray the Singularity;
HAJIME HINATA!
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[which is why he just stands there, blinking slowly, finally coming to.]
Wait what the fuck just happened.
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Oh god, does it hit him.]
...
[He's quiet for a moment, before he just takes his hand up to his mouth and stifles the god awful sound that's threatening to come straight out of it. Okay, little by little.]
You.
[Holy shit, where does he even begin with any of this???]
You mean the Singularity.
[Oh god. It's like a damn about to break.]
YOU MEAN THE SINGULARITY IS HAJIME!?
[Part of him is broken, like a file that failed to compile itself correctly, and the only resultant of that lack of control is straight up, purely pristine fucked up amounts of laughter.]
And you... holy shit.
You thought I was.
[YOU THOUGHT HE WAS MACKING IT WITH HAJIME ON THE DAILY? Looking into the deep abyss and sticking his tongue down his throat? Coalescing with the darkest form of the Lovecraftian gods beyond the abyss? Seriously? Seriously.]
Dude, I... I hate to break it to you and everything, but, like. Nah. I never... with Hajime!? No way, man. Uh. Yeah, sorry, bro. It sounds like what you two got is pretty tight though. But we definitely aren't like. Doing any of that shit.
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[Gundam doesn't look amused.]
Of course the Singularity is Hajime Hinata! Do not play dumb with me Ryuji Sakamoto, you stated the nature of your relationship... most. Explicitly.
If you continue to say such foolish things, I shall tear you limb from limb with my wicked arm!
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[Dave's got about ... three context clues here to try to put together a coherent story, and he's. yeah, he still has no fucking idea what's going on, and can only offer a confused interjection as he looks between the two.]
[how many shit sin tubes is it gonna take to get a rundown like. delivered in a way he can understand?? maybe the TP's respawned.]
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Sorry, give him a second to regain composure. Gundam's here about to blow his gasket cap, and Dave has no clue what's going on-- but there should be a way that he could settle both things at the same time, no additional shit sin tubes required. Or make it more confusing, honestly, it's a mixed bag at this point.
But as he's trying to figure out the best course of action, something pings Ryuji from their interaction during the dark times of the previous month and things start falling into place.]
You thought you gave me that virus via Hajime, huh.
Ohhh... shit, it kinda makes sense now. Dude, Gundam, you asked if I held hands with this Singularity thing and I swear, I had no goddamn clue what the hell you were talkin' about. You say some pretty out there effin' stuff, I thought you were just... messing around and talking about some sorta eldritch horror thingy.
[He's almost certain that Gundam wasn't patient zero. Ryuji's symptoms hit way, way too fast for that to be the case, and Hajime's form had him turning into a ghost, like Dave.]
I had no idea you meant Hajime. Man... he's a good guy 'n all, and probably like, one of my best bros around here? But I ain't... yeah, I don't like him like that, and if I knew you were talking about him I never woulda joked around like that. Uh, sorry. I'm kinda incredibly loyal to this immortal... hamster god? Valhalla guy? What the hell was it. [He tilts his head over to Dave, apologizing to him too. It's not really his fault that Gundam started a shouting match, but he still feels liable for it.]
Also, can you like, maybe wait until after noon to start bangin' on doors.
1/2
If you failed to comprehend what I was inquiring, why would you just make up something like-- [Gundam's entire face goes red again, just remembering the exchange.] --like THAT?
[It was so intimate. So graphic. So... so... utterly-- Gundam yanks his scarf up again.]
--GCK!!
CURSE YOU FOR EVER BURNING THOSE INSIDIOUS IMAGES INTO THIS TEMPORARY FORM'S MIND!
I would sooner take the visage of a thousand of the most nightmarish eldritch horrors wreaking havoc upon this mind!
[Especially if it meant having THAT erased from his memory.]
2/2
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/important break in order for this
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