Some people just ain't meant for leadership roles and I'm one of them
I did build like 30 amusement parks though
So they shoulda been happy
Too bad I bankrupted the goddamn place
[Someone should teach him how to run a city. Or to at least listen to his advisers who constantly told him that raising those taxes to 20% was a straight kick to the nuts of the laffer curve.]
hahaha guess a bread and circus deal doesnt work if people cant afford the circus being in charge is overrated anyway
[it's at least partly why he's been watching, but not participating, in whatever's going on with these job assignments.]
[in any case, pretty much ten minutes on the dot later, there's a knock at room 28. because it would be weird if a god of time were anything other than exactly on time.]
Ryuji may, on the surface, appear to be a bit heavy handed and rash, and he might not pay attention to all the things he needs to, or be the best keeping quiet or to himself. He's too earnest, too hating of authority, too malleable to simple things like being in charge is overrated. There's no conceivable way that Dave could know Ryuji's keeping a list of all the people who seem to disagree. And since it's on his mind a lot lately, he's weirdly happy that he doesn't have to worry about Dave.
And when he answers the door, his expression is way, way too damn easy to read.]
Welcome home, turntechGodhead. If that really is your name. [He's so stupid.]
[Dave is no leader — and he's no hero either; that's something he's insisted on before. those are John's titles. the giant doof with a good heart who would pull the sword out of the stone with ease, while someone like Dave could only break it. the giant doof who, he understands now, will be the one to fix everything. that's what a leader does. that's what a hero does. and that isn't Dave.]
[Ryuji seems pretty pleased, though. he's not sure if it's because the dude's just completely stoked on video game discussion, or if it's something else. Dave's not really prone to giving out smiles as easily, but he does seem awfully amused.]
I'd say it's about as accurate as skull — as in, I'm pretty much a god at the turntables, and you've got a skull in your head.
[So capriciously said, without a trace of maliciousness to it, like there was nothing more natural and true in the world than the fact Dave Strider was an asshole. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that he knows how much of a cheater he was, he'd probably throw down another thumb war rematch just for the hell of it, but since that'd go nowhere fast, he lets the other find whatever space he wants to take up, as big or as small as he feels comfortable to do, and settle in.
Oh, right- he just remembered something about a (really fucking strange) encounter he had with someone else on the station, and heads to the bunk beds. Looking at the difference between the top and bottom bunk, and the disheveled state of the lower one, it'd probably look like that one was his, but no- he reaches up to the neatly made top one and pulls down what looks like a package of something from under his pillow.]
Dunno if you're into it, but I managed to meet someone who had twizzlers? Uh... I dunno how, really, but he had a ton of em, and gave me some. Thought you'd like one.
[STRAIGHT UP CONTRABAND.
He tosses the junk food over to Dave. Only a few left, but he was only given a couple to begin with. Eh, might as well share the good fortune.]
[he's not much at all into black licorice, anyway, but at least Twizzlers have a bit of a sweeter tinge to them. and more importantly, it's not anything like the toast and whatever protein he could stomach that he's been living off of the past few weeks. it has potential.]
What the fuck, so you can get actual food here?
[where the hell are his bottles of apple juice and doritos then? but he turns the candy over in his hands, inspecting it. yup ... it looks legit.]
You sure you don't mind sharing? This thing's probably got more flavor than anything else on offer combined.
Uh... not quite. I really don't know how they're even here, but this kid had a bunch of just... stuff? In his room. Stuff that's like. Impossible. Maybe he got lucky or something and hit the jackpot with room claims.
Or it's magic.
Either way, it's kind of delicious magic and I ain't complaining about it.
[He finds a spot on the desk to park his ass onto, the lack of chairs and chill environs in this place really begged to question who the hell the interior decorator was and how he deserved a stern talking to.]
Nah, finish 'em off. I figured you'd enjoy it, so I saved the rest for ya.
[he'll just have a seat on the edge of the bunk and dig in, then — it's still not exactly his favorite candy in the world, but it is something to remind him that he does actually still have taste buds. and even though Twizzlers have pretty much no nutritional value, he somehow feels better. like the fact that he's not eating something cardboard-flavored may have given him more energy.]
What other stuff did that guy have? Makes me think I should have tried snooping in more rooms.
Candy... lots of outfits, too. Like, Nike branded shit.
[He got the hunch that there was way, way more stuff in there that lay in hiding, just judging by the way the guy carried himself, but Ryuji didn't press it. Being a thief is all about gaining small amounts of information over time to make judgment calls if something needs to be done. Not that he was outwardly thinking in that line of thought, honestly... he was experiencing the wild high of a sugar rush that was almost 3 weeks overdue.]
Tell me about it. All we got was some coffee cups and a few boring ass books scattered around here. [Whoever these nerds were living here before must've been the type to stay up late, reading.
He sighs, audibly, and peers over at the bed where Dave had situated himself. Oh, yeah they were supposed to talk about video games, but something else hits him that he wanted to ask before. And since Ryuji can't not ask questions that pop into his head---]
[the joke being that he loves them sincerely, for the fact that they are a joke in and of themselves. he loves them so much he has worn them for three years straight.]
My best bro from back home gave them to me — they're the shades from Starsky and Hutch, which means at one point Ben Stiller also had them on his weird face.
[And then the great reveal of his plenitude of feelings towards Ben Stiller comes unraveled; Ryuji's jaw drops because that's seriously...]
So that would make your best bro Owen Wilson.
[He wants to ask Dave if he wears them to sleep too, but he's not sure that he wants to know the answer to that question. Best to leave some mystery out there in the world. Either way, he leans back with his head against the wall.]
Sburb, right? [That felt tough to even say, what the hell]
[Dave cares a lot about John, okay. also, not only has he slept wearing the shades, he has in fact worn other eyewear over them. if he is anything, he is dedicated.]
[but right, video games. the original topic at hand.]
Well, the ultimate goal of Sburb, through a series of extremely stupid and roundabout quests and battles, and if you happen to be lucky enough, is to create a new universe.
One of those water stains on a piece of wood that resembles the likelihood of good old JC would still rank higher than him, but, he digs it. Ryuji would say similar things about Ren. He understands the concept of best bro-hood way, way too damn much.]
Sounds kinda cool, but I thought this was one of those building-sim games. Never saw any of those that had battles in it.
[Not yet getting that the game he was talking about layered itself right into the perceivable realm of reality.
Yeah, it is. But even though you start off by building up your house, what you're really doing is helping build the final battlefield.
We never got this far, but based on what I've been told, if you manage to win, you get to go through a door to the new universe and claim the ultimate reward.
[whatever that is. nobody Dave knows has ever explained further than the fact that it is "the ultimate reward." he can only assume, given the fact that the god-tier status exists, that it has something to do with being gods of the new universe.]
[It's okay, I've accepted this into my heart already]
Watch, you get to the end and it's like the mecha anime where it's just a blank room with the words "CONGRATULATIONS" written on a white screen with blank ink.
[That would actually??? be the worst thing that could ever happen, and he'd uninstall so freaking quick.]
Just to mess with ya. But uhh... sheesh, I can't even imagine what a game would offer as the ultimate prize. Godhood? Like, the ability to go back with unlimited resources and build everything as you want it to be?
[He has to pull the brakes on this entire thing to make a very deep, very insightful comment about the state of Dave's universe and the game that tormented him over the past few years---]
Wow, that musta been pretty shady. Stealing their hard earned cash like that. And no one bothered to investi-gator you?
[Little did he know how much Dave was a god's honest crookadile.
And now that that's over, and he hates himself a little bit more than he did a minute ago.]
It lets you level up even higher, but honestly, the leveling system was stupid and arbitrary anyway. But you also get conditional immortality. The ability to fly. A comfy set of magical pajamas. Divine stuff like that.
[It's bad when your loser friends rub off on you and you become an even higher level loser.
Never to be mentioned of again, but hell, if he isn't scratching the back of his head and smiling like he thinks he's the best worst goddamn thing that graced this side of the station.]
This game kinda sounds like bullshit.
Although no one can deny how awesome comfortable pajamas are.
[something like a genuine smirk threatens the corners of his mouth. there's nothing that he's said here that would blatantly indicate Sburb isn't just a computer game, that it's the actual, completely fucked up reality he's been living for three years. he hadn't even touched on the worse corners of paradox space and how easy it is for everything to go completely wrong.]
[and yet, he finds those two sentences oddly comforting. like maybe the guy understands more than he's letting on.]
[Dave chews on a Twizzler thoughtfully for a minute.]
Don't think you could sum up Sburb any better than that. Definitely not nearly as fun as Solitaire.
Eh. Maybe we can find a pack of cards in a room or something. At least you'll be occupied for hours.
[With their E-rank luck though? It'd probably be missing exactly one card. Probably a spade, just for the added ironic effect.
He doesn't exactly let on that he's starting to get the feeling that this is bigger than just a game, but it also doesn't freak him out to even know if it was a possibility- that this sort of stuff could exist out there. He looks at Dave, sees him about to offer what looks like a crook to the corner of his lips, and... cool. That's good enough. But so as not to stare, his eyes wander over to the pillow on the bunk.
Although his life wasn't a video game, he wants to come clean and tell him about Yaldabaoth's game. The one where god pitted two kids against each other and stacked the odds so high against them, all to declare that humanity couldn't, and shouldn't be in control of their own desires. Ryuji was real fucking tired of games that had no winning condition.
At least, if you play by the rules.]
Kinda weird though. I mean. Solitaire never gave me any time powers. [Bluntly put.]
You probably just weren't playing the right Solitaire.
[it's a weirdly apt metaphor, if you think about it. you start with a deck of cards, shuffled any which way, and with a bit of strategy and a lot of luck, you end the game with all four suits arranged in order. as it should be.]
[it's the same deal with Sburb. it's trying to work with or around the cards your session has dealt you. it's attempting to rearrange the rules as you understand them, even if your little video game rebellion turned out to be something you were meant to do all along. it's sequencing frog DNA like suits of cards. it's attempting to make something as it should be.]
[in any case, Ryuji seems to have a knack for finding the actual meaning behind the jokes and sometimes plain absurd shit Dave says — so maybe he'll take that Solitaire comment for what it actually is. it's an acknowledgment that Ryuji was right — and it's a thanks. for understanding.]
I don't mind telling you more if you're curious. Rose has a lot more working knowledge than I do, though; she even wrote a nigh unreadable GameFaq about it.
[And as someone that gets frequently bored and ends up in mischief, that's never really... that good of a thing. But it's also an unintentionally layered statement, an extra slab of cheese somewhere hidden between the metaphorical sandwich buns.]
Hell yeah, man! I gave you twizzlers... that's clearly the olive branch of revealing deep, dark life secrets.
[And there's... 50? 60? 80? people out there in the station that he can't trust farther than he can throw them. Even if this information isn't TOP SECRET CONFIDENTIAL, it feels like he can open up a little more to Dave. Attempt to grow that small ring of confidence that currently contains 2 people into maybe 3. Either way, it's... kind of nice, and relaxing.]
Don't think I've got any of those — no interesting ones, anyway — but Twizzlers taken.
[Dave is infuriatingly bad at even admitting he has basic teenage problems, sadly. they're always hidden somewhere in whatever other points he feels like making — and even then, they're the sort of hints that only look really obvious in retrospect.]
[but honestly, this is a start? it's not like he's going to waltz up to a rando and get into the finer points of alchemizing, so some measure of trust is there.]
At least from my perspective, though, a lot of the game was just fucking around until something big happened. But I also had a lot more time on my hands compared to the others.
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....
....No...]
Some people just ain't meant for leadership roles and I'm one of them
I did build like 30 amusement parks though
So they shoulda been happy
Too bad I bankrupted the goddamn place
[Someone should teach him how to run a city. Or to at least listen to his advisers who constantly told him that raising those taxes to 20% was a straight kick to the nuts of the laffer curve.]
Anyway, room 28 if you didn't know
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hahaha
guess a bread and circus deal doesnt work if people cant afford the circus
being in charge is overrated anyway
[it's at least partly why he's been watching, but not participating, in whatever's going on with these job assignments.]
[in any case, pretty much ten minutes on the dot later, there's a knock at room 28. because it would be weird if a god of time were anything other than exactly on time.]
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Ryuji may, on the surface, appear to be a bit heavy handed and rash, and he might not pay attention to all the things he needs to, or be the best keeping quiet or to himself. He's too earnest, too hating of authority, too malleable to simple things like being in charge is overrated. There's no conceivable way that Dave could know Ryuji's keeping a list of all the people who seem to disagree. And since it's on his mind a lot lately, he's weirdly happy that he doesn't have to worry about Dave.
And when he answers the door, his expression is way, way too damn easy to read.]
Welcome home, turntechGodhead. If that really is your name. [He's so stupid.]
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[Ryuji seems pretty pleased, though. he's not sure if it's because the dude's just completely stoked on video game discussion, or if it's something else. Dave's not really prone to giving out smiles as easily, but he does seem awfully amused.]
I'd say it's about as accurate as skull — as in, I'm pretty much a god at the turntables, and you've got a skull in your head.
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[So capriciously said, without a trace of maliciousness to it, like there was nothing more natural and true in the world than the fact Dave Strider was an asshole. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that he knows how much of a cheater he was, he'd probably throw down another thumb war rematch just for the hell of it, but since that'd go nowhere fast, he lets the other find whatever space he wants to take up, as big or as small as he feels comfortable to do, and settle in.
Oh, right- he just remembered something about a (really fucking strange) encounter he had with someone else on the station, and heads to the bunk beds. Looking at the difference between the top and bottom bunk, and the disheveled state of the lower one, it'd probably look like that one was his, but no- he reaches up to the neatly made top one and pulls down what looks like a package of something from under his pillow.]
Dunno if you're into it, but I managed to meet someone who had twizzlers? Uh... I dunno how, really, but he had a ton of em, and gave me some. Thought you'd like one.
[STRAIGHT UP CONTRABAND.
He tosses the junk food over to Dave. Only a few left, but he was only given a couple to begin with. Eh, might as well share the good fortune.]
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What the fuck, so you can get actual food here?
[where the hell are his bottles of apple juice and doritos then? but he turns the candy over in his hands, inspecting it. yup ... it looks legit.]
You sure you don't mind sharing? This thing's probably got more flavor than anything else on offer combined.
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Or it's magic.
Either way, it's kind of delicious magic and I ain't complaining about it.
[He finds a spot on the desk to park his ass onto, the lack of chairs and chill environs in this place really begged to question who the hell the interior decorator was and how he deserved a stern talking to.]
Nah, finish 'em off. I figured you'd enjoy it, so I saved the rest for ya.
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[he'll just have a seat on the edge of the bunk and dig in, then — it's still not exactly his favorite candy in the world, but it is something to remind him that he does actually still have taste buds. and even though Twizzlers have pretty much no nutritional value, he somehow feels better. like the fact that he's not eating something cardboard-flavored may have given him more energy.]
What other stuff did that guy have? Makes me think I should have tried snooping in more rooms.
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[He got the hunch that there was way, way more stuff in there that lay in hiding, just judging by the way the guy carried himself, but Ryuji didn't press it. Being a thief is all about gaining small amounts of information over time to make judgment calls if something needs to be done. Not that he was outwardly thinking in that line of thought, honestly... he was experiencing the wild high of a sugar rush that was almost 3 weeks overdue.]
Tell me about it. All we got was some coffee cups and a few boring ass books scattered around here. [Whoever these nerds were living here before must've been the type to stay up late, reading.
He sighs, audibly, and peers over at the bed where Dave had situated himself. Oh, yeah they were supposed to talk about video games, but something else hits him that he wanted to ask before. And since Ryuji can't not ask questions that pop into his head---]
What's with the shades, by the way?
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[the joke being that he loves them sincerely, for the fact that they are a joke in and of themselves. he loves them so much he has worn them for three years straight.]
My best bro from back home gave them to me — they're the shades from Starsky and Hutch, which means at one point Ben Stiller also had them on his weird face.
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[And then the great reveal of his plenitude of feelings towards Ben Stiller comes unraveled; Ryuji's jaw drops because that's seriously...]
So that would make your best bro Owen Wilson.
[He wants to ask Dave if he wears them to sleep too, but he's not sure that he wants to know the answer to that question. Best to leave some mystery out there in the world. Either way, he leans back with his head against the wall.]
Sburb, right? [That felt tough to even say, what the hell]
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[Dave cares a lot about John, okay. also, not only has he slept wearing the shades, he has in fact worn other eyewear over them. if he is anything, he is dedicated.]
[but right, video games. the original topic at hand.]
Well, the ultimate goal of Sburb, through a series of extremely stupid and roundabout quests and battles, and if you happen to be lucky enough, is to create a new universe.
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Probably not.
One of those water stains on a piece of wood that resembles the likelihood of good old JC would still rank higher than him, but, he digs it. Ryuji would say similar things about Ren. He understands the concept of best bro-hood way, way too damn much.]
Sounds kinda cool, but I thought this was one of those building-sim games. Never saw any of those that had battles in it.
[Not yet getting that the game he was talking about layered itself right into the perceivable realm of reality.
Am I getting homestuck yet?]
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Yeah, it is. But even though you start off by building up your house, what you're really doing is helping build the final battlefield.
We never got this far, but based on what I've been told, if you manage to win, you get to go through a door to the new universe and claim the ultimate reward.
[whatever that is. nobody Dave knows has ever explained further than the fact that it is "the ultimate reward." he can only assume, given the fact that the god-tier status exists, that it has something to do with being gods of the new universe.]
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Watch, you get to the end and it's like the mecha anime where it's just a blank room with the words "CONGRATULATIONS" written on a white screen with blank ink.
[That would actually??? be the worst thing that could ever happen, and he'd uninstall so freaking quick.]
Just to mess with ya. But uhh... sheesh, I can't even imagine what a game would offer as the ultimate prize. Godhood? Like, the ability to go back with unlimited resources and build everything as you want it to be?
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Don't know about resources. It's pretty easy to cheat some moronic crocodiles out of their money in the stock market and buy everything early.
Godhood though? Maybe. It's already a thing built into the game.
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Wow, that musta been pretty shady. Stealing their hard earned cash like that. And no one bothered to investi-gator you?
[Little did he know how much Dave was a god's honest crookadile.
And now that that's over, and he hates himself a little bit more than he did a minute ago.]
What does godhood get you? More bridges?
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What the fuck, Ryuji.
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It lets you level up even higher, but honestly, the leveling system was stupid and arbitrary anyway. But you also get conditional immortality. The ability to fly. A comfy set of magical pajamas. Divine stuff like that.
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Never to be mentioned of again, but hell, if he isn't scratching the back of his head and smiling like he thinks he's the best worst goddamn thing that graced this side of the station.]
This game kinda sounds like bullshit.
Although no one can deny how awesome comfortable pajamas are.
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[and yet, he finds those two sentences oddly comforting. like maybe the guy understands more than he's letting on.]
[Dave chews on a Twizzler thoughtfully for a minute.]
Don't think you could sum up Sburb any better than that. Definitely not nearly as fun as Solitaire.
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[With their E-rank luck though? It'd probably be missing exactly one card. Probably a spade, just for the added ironic effect.
He doesn't exactly let on that he's starting to get the feeling that this is bigger than just a game, but it also doesn't freak him out to even know if it was a possibility- that this sort of stuff could exist out there. He looks at Dave, sees him about to offer what looks like a crook to the corner of his lips, and... cool. That's good enough. But so as not to stare, his eyes wander over to the pillow on the bunk.
Although his life wasn't a video game, he wants to come clean and tell him about Yaldabaoth's game. The one where god pitted two kids against each other and stacked the odds so high against them, all to declare that humanity couldn't, and shouldn't be in control of their own desires. Ryuji was real fucking tired of games that had no winning condition.
At least, if you play by the rules.]
Kinda weird though. I mean. Solitaire never gave me any time powers. [Bluntly put.]
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You probably just weren't playing the right Solitaire.
[it's a weirdly apt metaphor, if you think about it. you start with a deck of cards, shuffled any which way, and with a bit of strategy and a lot of luck, you end the game with all four suits arranged in order. as it should be.]
[it's the same deal with Sburb. it's trying to work with or around the cards your session has dealt you. it's attempting to rearrange the rules as you understand them, even if your little video game rebellion turned out to be something you were meant to do all along. it's sequencing frog DNA like suits of cards. it's attempting to make something as it should be.]
[in any case, Ryuji seems to have a knack for finding the actual meaning behind the jokes and sometimes plain absurd shit Dave says — so maybe he'll take that Solitaire comment for what it actually is. it's an acknowledgment that Ryuji was right — and it's a thanks. for understanding.]
I don't mind telling you more if you're curious. Rose has a lot more working knowledge than I do, though; she even wrote a nigh unreadable GameFaq about it.
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[And as someone that gets frequently bored and ends up in mischief, that's never really... that good of a thing. But it's also an unintentionally layered statement, an extra slab of cheese somewhere hidden between the metaphorical sandwich buns.]
Hell yeah, man! I gave you twizzlers... that's clearly the olive branch of revealing deep, dark life secrets.
[And there's... 50? 60? 80? people out there in the station that he can't trust farther than he can throw them. Even if this information isn't TOP SECRET CONFIDENTIAL, it feels like he can open up a little more to Dave. Attempt to grow that small ring of confidence that currently contains 2 people into maybe 3. Either way, it's... kind of nice, and relaxing.]
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[Dave is infuriatingly bad at even admitting he has basic teenage problems, sadly. they're always hidden somewhere in whatever other points he feels like making — and even then, they're the sort of hints that only look really obvious in retrospect.]
[but honestly, this is a start? it's not like he's going to waltz up to a rando and get into the finer points of alchemizing, so some measure of trust is there.]
At least from my perspective, though, a lot of the game was just fucking around until something big happened. But I also had a lot more time on my hands compared to the others.
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