[Like hell if he knew what was actually bothering him- so much was going on in Struxta now, between the exploration of the tunnels, and the oncoming storm, that it was easy to misrepresent things and transfer anxiety between different objectives. Which is healthy, right? It's like a sore at the edge of his lip that irks him when he smiles. But, whatever, some downtime back at home base will do everyone good. He wants to explore the woods, kick back, spend some time with people he's insanely fond of.]
[The string of replies that comes back at her is so very Ryuji that despite how out-of-sorts she herself is feeling, she instantly feels that much more at home.
She smiles to herself— she can always count on Ryuji to cheer her up, even if she doesn't understand why she needs it.]
I'll have a plate waiting for you when you get here, how about that? There's been so much going on, I figure we could use some time to unwind and catch up.
[He's taken years of introductory, intermediate, and advanced courses on Speaking Ann: A Guide to Not Making a Total Ass Out of Yourself, but barely scraped by with C-------
me after class, Sakamoto.
But he knows when she needs to let off steam, almost intuitively, and whereas Ryuji's actual smarts were pretty abysmal, he had a decent amount of emotional intelligence (FOR OTHER PEOPLE...). So, yeah, he'll take the after school detention he deserves, hell, even get rowdy enough so that he gets punished with more of it. Punk as fuck.]
[Ryuji gets it right where it really matters, and that's what always sticks with Ann the most—
Except for the part where she heaves a very real sigh in response to his message. Phrasing, Ryuji.]
Never say that again.
Yeah, same place as before. I'll be waiting.
[When he gets there, she'll be sitting at one of the smaller tables with her chin resting in her hand, out of the way to give them some semblance of privacy, and as promised, there are two plates of Mystery Foodstuffs set out for them.]
[He's made these kinds of diction errors so often lately that people have just begun texting him the words "phrasing," and as much as he'd like to fix that part about himself, he can't stop typing chat responses as he thinks them in his head, and he definitely can't figure out how brain to mouth filters work, so... maybe it's a bit more of a long term goal than anything else.
But, noted. Yellow shit has been stricken from the internal vocabulary.
And it takes a little bit of time to get to their new official hideout spot, but he arrives there, a warm smile to accompany his greeting. Doesn't even make a big deal out of it either, just pulls up a chair and slams into it, like he thinks he always has a seat at Ann's table.]
What's cookin'?
Uhhh.... I mean, aside from this literal pile of sh---- sheer, amazingly delicious looking protein.
[If she's being perfectly honest, he does— although she'd be quick to clarify that it would be the same for any of their friends. She always has a spot at her table for any one of them, but...
She's known Ryuji the longest. She can't deny that it's different.
She smiles wryly when he sits down, perking up slightly as he joins her.]
Hey. Figured we were due to catch up some. There's been a lot going on, you know? The Storm, but— other things, too.
[He pushes his fork forward as one pile of protein glob becomes two piles, and then three, and four. It's pretty indicative of how Ryuji handles things in general- especially the ones that are too difficult to swallow down in one sitting.
There's an elephant in the room when Ann mentions other things, so he'll take one of those proverbial piles and just, dive right in.]
Eh, you don't gotta beat around the bush with me, y'know. S'bout Akira, right?
[He doesn't really think it's an awkward topic to bring up or even talk about.
[Break it down until it gets more manageable, huh. Ann would probably do well to follow his example— not just with the food.
She nods a little, pressing her lips together for a moment. He's right, she shouldn't be so cautious— she can be honest with him, right? She always has been.]
Yeah. I guess I wanted to know how you're feeling about it?
[Because she's not sure how she does— she's happy for her friends, but some of what Akira had said had left something heavy to settle in her stomach. More than that, if Akira talked to Ryuji—
[He told Akira to hit it out of the park. He honestly just didn't know what he was supposed to feel about it- other than the sad insecurity that the three of them were going to become two sets of two, and then maybe one day, somebody would come along and sweep Ann right off her feet. Shit, she deserved it. She deserved whatever it was in this world she desired, and it's still kind of weird to Ryuji that it hasn't happened already. It's not even actively putting her on a pedestal, it's way more personal than that, and he doesn't know how to even put that into words. It's hard to tell when you're abandoned so much in your life if it's you pushing them away, or if there's just something... wrong with you as a person. And then, instead of two sets of two, it'd become two sets of two and Ryuji on the side, not knowing why his chest felt so heavy and left still trying to figure out shit that literally every other human being was capable of figuring out.
Feelings, or something like that.
Akira had made no sign of ever letting that happen, though, and as much reassurance that he could provide, he.
Didn't care about himself or considered his own state of happiness to even know there was a world where someone could fall for him. His friends, their well being, their hearts... were worth everything to him, even if he had the worst possible way of showing that. It didn't matter what he thought, really.]
What I feel?
[Everything, nothing, too much, too little. He doesn't know? He doesn't really know. He wanted to be making dumb movie references and hanging off of Akira's shoulder like he always did, and being around Ann, people watching, people judging, dragging each other until they were both absolutely living their truths.]
I mean... not to sound like a total asshole here, but, uh. It doesn't really matter either way, yanno? If he's swimmin' around in his dokis, then... yeah, I'm cool. He deserves his chance in the sun and... man, we've just been through so much shit. I want him to be happy.
[She nods— she doesn't want to assume that Ryuji is leaving anything unsaid, just like she can't even bring herself to admit or even recognize that she's keeping some of her own feelings buried. There's a faint pang of jealousy that just doesn't make sense to her, because she's not jealous of either Akira or Rion, and yet...
She purses her lips slightly, thoughtful. This isn't going to change anything for any of them, really. Akira isn't the kind of person who would let his friendships fall by the wayside because of his interest in someone, and Rion would never stand for it even if he was. She's their friend, too.]
That's what I want, too— and Rion is a good friend. I think we can trust her with our fearless leader's heart.
[A smile pulls at one side of her mouth as she tries to lighten the mood somewhat, idly picking at a forkful of goop.]
It doesn't make you sound like an asshole, either. Just wanted to know if he said anything to you that was— I don't know, struck you as kind of funny?
[What she really wants to know is if he had told Ryuji how he felt about him, but if he didn't... it's not Ann's place to give that away.]
I wound up having to give both of them a pep talk— like I know anything about dating.
[So, weird thing here, because he was pretty much completely fine and managing through all of this decently well, right up until Ann mentions Rion being trusted with his heart. It's a weird kind of turn-of-phrase, considering their inclinations to steal those things, and Ryuji's eyebrows furrow a little bit. Well, yeah, it makes sense- Rion is a pretty good person from what he can tell, but that sort of thing... it just rubs against him the wrong way, and Ryuji isn't coy enough to hide any of his emotions or facial expressions.]
Uh... yeah, I mean. I guess.
[And now he's the one that's kind of bummed out, as he pushes one pile of protein glob in another direction, farther away from the other two piles that he had absentmindedly created.]
Funny? Not really. What kinda funny? [Nah, out of Ann, Rion, and Akira - he was the only one who had no idea about Akira's feelings for him. But Ryuji also has no idea what Ann is talking about, and suddenly he's worried that something was up. Like, did he miss something here?]
Shit, you and me both, though. I bet you gave a kickass pep talk. I told 'em to go for it, but, if like, he needed somethin' more than that, I'm pretty sure I woulda landed straight on my ass.
'Sides, when it comes to dating... I dunno. It's not just experience? Or, like, lack of it. I ain't sayin' this to get you to, like, compliment or assure me or anythin'. But, I think I'd make a pretty crappy boyfriend.
[She frowns a little, unable to pinpoint exactly what she had that might have altered his mood. Whichever part it was, she regrets it, but— still, they need to talk about this, don't they?
Maybe not. Maybe she's fooling herself by thinking this might actually help things, or that there's anything that needs helping.]
Nothing, he just— seemed nervous, when he talked to me.
[If Ryuji doesn't know more, then it's not her place to tell him. It wouldn't be fair to him, or Akira.]
But that's pretty much what I told him, too. I've never dated anyone, either, so it's not like I have experience to speak from. I think being a supportive friend was enough?
[That's all he'd needed from her, anyway. From Ryuji... well. She thinks he needed to know that door was closed. Her expression softens a bit, however, and she shakes her head.]
Even if that's not why you're saying it, I think you're wrong. You care about the people around you more than anything— you'd be a great boyfriend. I mean— anyone would be lucky to have you.
[She quickly shovels another forkful of goop into her mouth. Ugh.]
[Well, to be fair, Ryuji'd be pretty nervous too, if he was telling Ann or Akira that he was dating someone. He'd probably end up standing there, anxious, rocking on the balls of his heels, until it came tumbling out like a waterfall after a heavy rain.]
Maybe it was cold feet? It's hard tellin' other people your feelings... and shit. Or, uh, maybe that's just me. I dunno, he musta had his reasons.
[He finally takes a bite of food again, figuring that- whatever was going through Akira's head at the moment, it's probably solved. It isn't until Ann starts speaking to him like that, that his chewing slows down, and he raises an eyebrow at her.]
W-wha---
[Swallowing it down, since it's pretty rude to talk with his mouth full, he just looks on at her. Never in a million years would he think he'd hear those sort of words coming from Ann, but they're oddly comforting in a way. More than just throwing him off guard, he's kind of frustrated at it. But not in that way that she's implying that he has some redeeming qualities, but because she was obviously bummed out too, and here she is, still being a supportive friend.]
Yo, cut it out. You don't gotta do that for me. [He gets that ping signal to tread carefully here. He doesn't want to make her mad, and he gets that she's not being dishonest with her words or anything, even if he doesn't 100% agree with her. And Ryuji is going to be brutally honest, because that's exactly how they've always functioned over stuff together.]
Like... yeah, I know what you're sayin' and everything, and, thanks... but you don't have to go 'n try and lift me up when you're obviously pretty outta it yourself. And it's cool, y'know. If you are.
[He looks down at his plate again, because this conversation just ramped up the difficulty setting way higher than his own personal level. He thinks he would know if Ann were crazily having an entire league of dokis out in right field for Akira, or at least, maybe there would've been some inkling about it. The opportunities were all there, the time, the chance to let it happen, the fact that they'd practically make a perfect couple, and yet, she still...]
I don't really think I'm there yet. I'm 17, gonna be 18 in like, a month or two, and I still got... so, so... so much shit wrong with me that I gotta figure out. I'd, uh. I'd really just be bringin' anyone else down with me at this rate.
[Raising his eyes upward to look at Ann and see her expression, he looks down again at the plate he's eating. This sort of openness with her is new- it's the sort of line of thinking that he hadn't even told Akira... and maybe it's because he knows a part of Akira would want to fix that line of thinking? He doesn't know. He really doesn't know much of anything.]
[Surprise, Ryuji— never forget, she can be pretty genuine, too. The brutal honesty she gets in reply is pretty par for the course; neither of them has ever been particularly cagey with the other, and she nods as he explains himself, her smile turning wry as she listens thoughtfully.
He makes a good point. A lot of good points, but first:]
It's not just me trying to lift you up, you know? We're friends. I know we pick at each other a lot, but I hope you realize that you're one of the best people I know.
[She teases him plenty, giving as good as she gets from him, but she thinks he could stand to be reminded of that. Like Ryuji himself, she thinks the world of her friends.]
But you're right. I'm not saying that you need to run right out there and find someone or anything, just... maybe don't be so hard on yourself?
[Love yourself a little more, Sakamoto.]
I do get what you mean. I feel the same way? I have to focus on becoming a better version of myself before I can worry about anyone else, but all the same... saying you'd be a crappy boyfriend? [She snorts lightly, and her smile returns, faint but teasing this time.] Come on. Don't talk about my friend that way.
[How does he not blush when Ann starts saying this sort of stuff to him? He feels his face getting warmer, and it's not what he was expecting out of any thing, going to prove that Ann has, does, and always will have the ability to throw him for an absolute fucking loop just when he thinks he's right about something. And how does he not return that exact sentiment too, even though he feels so... goddamn out of his element in all of this- because, really, he feels pretty much the same way about her.]
U...uh. Yeah. I mean. You are pretty much... like. [Love yourself and pull yourself together, Sakamoto.]
Shit, it's just. Man, why'd you have to go and make this so awkward!? C'mon, you know how I feel about you. [And whether or not he's vocalized that to her often enough is something that's entirely up in the air, but he breathes in through his nose and gives up trying to pretend to be interested in eating anymore.]
After everything we've been through, even from the beginnin', we've always been there for each other. And I don't want that to ever stop. You always makes me wanna be the best "me," y'know? That same better version you're talkin' about.
[He sure doesn't know what relationship material looks like, but Ann's reassurance goes a long way, even when he doesn't think he's anywhere near it yet. It's weird, he's always wanted to try and get a girlfriend back home, but he's pretty much come to realize that he wouldn't know what to do if he ever got one.
It's like putting an image in his head of what things ought to be like, or where he'd imagine himself being, and leaving it at just that- an image. Prone to do that with both Ann and Akira, too, a few months ahead of both of them, he's had a lot of time to think about that and why it's so wrong to begin with. And while the both of them are here with him, now... he wants to try harder.]
Alright. You're right. I'll stop beatin' myself up over it. Uhm... thanks, I got... a pretty thick skull sometimes.
[She grins easily, curling her fingers into a fist and leaning across the table to gently knock on his forehead a couple of times.]
You know, that's the real reason we call you Skull.
[She drops back into her seat, and while his turning her words back on her does bring some color to her cheeks, her mood seems to have been lifted overall— she feels like he really means what he says, and she agrees. They'll always have each other's backs, even when the time of the Phantom Thieves has come to an end.]
It won't stop. I'll make sure of it.
[It's not like she has so many friends that she can afford to throw the best of them away— not that she ever would, anyway.]
We'll just keep on helping each other out, just like that. Lean on each other while we strengthen our hearts!
[Just like she'd asked Akira to help her with back home. She has a feeling that's going to be an ongoing project for a long, long time.]
Thanks for this. I don't really know why I needed it, but... I did.
[Why does talking to him always make her feel so much better, no matter the situation?]
Man... what the hell. You're ACTUALLY knocking sense into me and this is like, takin' it to a whole 'nother level.
[He'll take those raps against the top of his head sheepishly, not fussing over it more than he absolutely has to, or swiping her hand away. This kid is still so, so touch starved, enough that even that has him leaning towards it like a puppy that just wants to be scratched behind the ears. Which is, well, it's lame, and he knows it is, but he can bear a piece of his heart to Ann like this.
They can also sit there, both cheeks red, and it would be an awful thing if someone chanced upon the both of them like this, because from the outside, it has all the verisimilitude of a date, complete with the both of them looking awkward, but determined to make it work. Which would be so, so far from the truth- they're just bonding over a mutual interest in each other, with food, speaking their truths, and... well, fuck.]
Yeah, as long as that also comes with strengthening our stomachs. [He's finally, finally starting to get sick of the protein goo that they've been shoveling into their mouths, but he's also WAY TOO GODDAMN proud to admit that. He longs for the simpler days of a buffet line with horrible adults around them who think a bunch of children have wandered into a soiree fit for kings, and, as thick as the thieves they were, could look them in the eye and tell them to stuff it. And then stuff their own faces.]
It's cool.
[He's not trying to be skillful or smooth here, like he can just casually say things like it's cool and make it happen. He just thinks... well, it's alright. If Ann needed something, he would do anything to make sure she got it. Likewise, probably, judging by the way she had just reached out and played the world's worst knock-knock joke on him.]
[With how worried she'd seemed at the start of this conversation, falling into their natural pattern of teasing and prodding at one another seems to have done wonders— it just feels right, like it always has. She doesn't give a second thought to what this little tableau might look like; ever since everything that happened with Kamoshida had brought them closer together, it was second nature for them to pair off, both on the job as Phantom Thieves and in everyday life. They had history, after all, and aside from Shiho—
Well, until Akira came into the picture, Ryuji was the only other person she could really consider a friend, even if she'd kept him at arm's length for a long while. She regrets that now— what would her life even be without him?
Painfully boring, probably.]
I'm all for that, too.
[She gives him a lopsided smile, glad to see he's finally seeing things her way about the food here.]
When we get back, how about we raid the temple's kitchen for all it's worth? Oooh, or better yet, we can get everyone together for a potluck dinner or something— we can't be the only ones sick of this stuff.
[But that's still a ways away. They have work to do here still, but however long they're stuck in Struxta, at least they have each other.
Her expression softens again, and she tries to shrug off the sudden pang of embarrassment she feels. Why is her face so stupidly hot?!]
[He holds out his fist for a bump, since even though Ann is a girl, she'll always be someone he can be unabashedly himself around. The idea of a potluck sounds amazing, considering the slop that they've had to eat over the last while, and maybe... for once, he can bring out his secret cooking skills.
The ones he's never owned up to, since it took a lot of experimenting and charred delights that him and his mom had to eat with her pulling down two jobs and not having time to do the whole cooking thing. Which basically means he can make a mean burger or throw together a soup, but... he's doing his best.
Watching her from his "don't leave me hanging" distance, he figures things will end up alright. And maybe, sure, just a little bit... talking with her has made him realize that even though Akira and Rion dating is something he's totally cool with, he acknowledges that it's his own insecurities of being left behind that's causing him the slight discomfort of it. Which is, admittedly, dumb, because while Ann promises him that they'll always have each other, Ryuji just doesn't want to think of a world where that isn't true between the three of them.
And maybe, from his angle, he looks on to her expressively softened features, and he remembers why he absolutely adores Ann so much. She can go from calm to upbeat to reserved, angry, unsettled- all within a minute's span. And his heart rate increases a little bit over it.]
[She definitely doesn't leave him hanging— not for more than a moment, anyway, and she smiles easily as she reaches out to bump his fist with her own. She's always been able to be herself with him, too, right down to not caring what things might look like to other people, or whether she fits in with the other girls at school— at this point, she'd rather not, given the way they've treated her over the years.
She doesn't need them. The friends she has are worth a thousand of them, and this talk with Ryuji is as firm a reminder of that as any.]
Pow.
[She drops back into her seat, the slop on her plate now forgotten. Ryuji has that effect on people— he helps them focus on what's important. The little things, however annoying or troublesome, just don't matter anymore.]
Thanks, Skull. I'm glad you could meet me. Y'know, we've still got some time to kill before Operation: Storm— any idea how we should spend it?
[Exchange of the brofists complete, Ryuji feels... pretty okay with life at the moment, which is all he can really ask for. There might not be a direction or a path right in front to take, but he knows the destination is going to be good... especially when you have such good friends to share that place with.
Hm... time to kill before operation: storm?
There's a few things that come to mind. He wants to show her the only yellow building in Struxta that he helped paint with his bullshit magic. Take her shopping for things to bring back to the temple, but honestly, you know what would be kind of cool right now?]
Wanna go for a motorcycle ride?
[He smiles at her proudly. Do all the stupid things.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Hell yeah dude!
I mean nah I ain't busy
But even if I were, I'd make some time, like?
If you're feedin' me
Or you just wanna hang out that's cool too
no subject
She smiles to herself— she can always count on Ryuji to cheer her up, even if she doesn't understand why she needs it.]
I'll have a plate waiting for you when you get here, how about that?
There's been so much going on, I figure we could use some time to unwind and catch up.
no subject
me after class, Sakamoto.
But he knows when she needs to let off steam, almost intuitively, and whereas Ryuji's actual smarts were pretty abysmal, he had a decent amount of emotional intelligence (FOR OTHER PEOPLE...). So, yeah, he'll take the after school detention he deserves, hell, even get rowdy enough so that he gets punished with more of it. Punk as fuck.]
Same place as before?
I've missed turning your shit yellow
no subject
Except for the part where she heaves a very real sigh in response to his message. Phrasing, Ryuji.]
Never say that again.
Yeah, same place as before. I'll be waiting.
[When he gets there, she'll be sitting at one of the smaller tables with her chin resting in her hand, out of the way to give them some semblance of privacy, and as promised, there are two plates of Mystery Foodstuffs set out for them.]
no subject
But, noted. Yellow shit has been stricken from the internal vocabulary.
And it takes a little bit of time to get to their new official hideout spot, but he arrives there, a warm smile to accompany his greeting. Doesn't even make a big deal out of it either, just pulls up a chair and slams into it, like he thinks he always has a seat at Ann's table.]
What's cookin'?
Uhhh.... I mean, aside from this literal pile of sh---- sheer, amazingly delicious looking protein.
no subject
She's known Ryuji the longest. She can't deny that it's different.
She smiles wryly when he sits down, perking up slightly as he joins her.]
Hey. Figured we were due to catch up some. There's been a lot going on, you know? The Storm, but— other things, too.
[Personal stuff.]
no subject
There's an elephant in the room when Ann mentions other things, so he'll take one of those proverbial piles and just, dive right in.]
Eh, you don't gotta beat around the bush with me, y'know. S'bout Akira, right?
[He doesn't really think it's an awkward topic to bring up or even talk about.
At least, at the surface level.]
no subject
She nods a little, pressing her lips together for a moment. He's right, she shouldn't be so cautious— she can be honest with him, right? She always has been.]
Yeah. I guess I wanted to know how you're feeling about it?
[Because she's not sure how she does— she's happy for her friends, but some of what Akira had said had left something heavy to settle in her stomach. More than that, if Akira talked to Ryuji—
Well. She wants to make sure he's okay.]
no subject
Feelings, or something like that.
Akira had made no sign of ever letting that happen, though, and as much reassurance that he could provide, he.
Didn't care about himself or considered his own state of happiness to even know there was a world where someone could fall for him. His friends, their well being, their hearts... were worth everything to him, even if he had the worst possible way of showing that. It didn't matter what he thought, really.]
What I feel?
[Everything, nothing, too much, too little. He doesn't know? He doesn't really know. He wanted to be making dumb movie references and hanging off of Akira's shoulder like he always did, and being around Ann, people watching, people judging, dragging each other until they were both absolutely living their truths.]
I mean... not to sound like a total asshole here, but, uh. It doesn't really matter either way, yanno? If he's swimmin' around in his dokis, then... yeah, I'm cool. He deserves his chance in the sun and... man, we've just been through so much shit. I want him to be happy.
no subject
She purses her lips slightly, thoughtful. This isn't going to change anything for any of them, really. Akira isn't the kind of person who would let his friendships fall by the wayside because of his interest in someone, and Rion would never stand for it even if he was. She's their friend, too.]
That's what I want, too— and Rion is a good friend. I think we can trust her with our fearless leader's heart.
[A smile pulls at one side of her mouth as she tries to lighten the mood somewhat, idly picking at a forkful of goop.]
It doesn't make you sound like an asshole, either. Just wanted to know if he said anything to you that was— I don't know, struck you as kind of funny?
[What she really wants to know is if he had told Ryuji how he felt about him, but if he didn't... it's not Ann's place to give that away.]
I wound up having to give both of them a pep talk— like I know anything about dating.
no subject
Uh... yeah, I mean. I guess.
[And now he's the one that's kind of bummed out, as he pushes one pile of protein glob in another direction, farther away from the other two piles that he had absentmindedly created.]
Funny? Not really. What kinda funny? [Nah, out of Ann, Rion, and Akira - he was the only one who had no idea about Akira's feelings for him. But Ryuji also has no idea what Ann is talking about, and suddenly he's worried that something was up. Like, did he miss something here?]
Shit, you and me both, though. I bet you gave a kickass pep talk. I told 'em to go for it, but, if like, he needed somethin' more than that, I'm pretty sure I woulda landed straight on my ass.
'Sides, when it comes to dating... I dunno. It's not just experience? Or, like, lack of it. I ain't sayin' this to get you to, like, compliment or assure me or anythin'. But, I think I'd make a pretty crappy boyfriend.
no subject
Maybe not. Maybe she's fooling herself by thinking this might actually help things, or that there's anything that needs helping.]
Nothing, he just— seemed nervous, when he talked to me.
[If Ryuji doesn't know more, then it's not her place to tell him. It wouldn't be fair to him, or Akira.]
But that's pretty much what I told him, too. I've never dated anyone, either, so it's not like I have experience to speak from. I think being a supportive friend was enough?
[That's all he'd needed from her, anyway. From Ryuji... well. She thinks he needed to know that door was closed. Her expression softens a bit, however, and she shakes her head.]
Even if that's not why you're saying it, I think you're wrong. You care about the people around you more than anything— you'd be a great boyfriend. I mean— anyone would be lucky to have you.
[She quickly shovels another forkful of goop into her mouth. Ugh.]
no subject
Maybe it was cold feet? It's hard tellin' other people your feelings... and shit. Or, uh, maybe that's just me. I dunno, he musta had his reasons.
[He finally takes a bite of food again, figuring that- whatever was going through Akira's head at the moment, it's probably solved. It isn't until Ann starts speaking to him like that, that his chewing slows down, and he raises an eyebrow at her.]
W-wha---
[Swallowing it down, since it's pretty rude to talk with his mouth full, he just looks on at her. Never in a million years would he think he'd hear those sort of words coming from Ann, but they're oddly comforting in a way. More than just throwing him off guard, he's kind of frustrated at it. But not in that way that she's implying that he has some redeeming qualities, but because she was obviously bummed out too, and here she is, still being a supportive friend.]
Yo, cut it out. You don't gotta do that for me. [He gets that ping signal to tread carefully here. He doesn't want to make her mad, and he gets that she's not being dishonest with her words or anything, even if he doesn't 100% agree with her. And Ryuji is going to be brutally honest, because that's exactly how they've always functioned over stuff together.]
Like... yeah, I know what you're sayin' and everything, and, thanks... but you don't have to go 'n try and lift me up when you're obviously pretty outta it yourself. And it's cool, y'know. If you are.
[He looks down at his plate again, because this conversation just ramped up the difficulty setting way higher than his own personal level. He thinks he would know if Ann were crazily having an entire league of dokis out in right field for Akira, or at least, maybe there would've been some inkling about it. The opportunities were all there, the time, the chance to let it happen, the fact that they'd practically make a perfect couple, and yet, she still...]
I don't really think I'm there yet. I'm 17, gonna be 18 in like, a month or two, and I still got... so, so... so much shit wrong with me that I gotta figure out. I'd, uh. I'd really just be bringin' anyone else down with me at this rate.
[Raising his eyes upward to look at Ann and see her expression, he looks down again at the plate he's eating. This sort of openness with her is new- it's the sort of line of thinking that he hadn't even told Akira... and maybe it's because he knows a part of Akira would want to fix that line of thinking? He doesn't know. He really doesn't know much of anything.]
Y'know what I mean?
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He makes a good point. A lot of good points, but first:]
It's not just me trying to lift you up, you know? We're friends. I know we pick at each other a lot, but I hope you realize that you're one of the best people I know.
[She teases him plenty, giving as good as she gets from him, but she thinks he could stand to be reminded of that. Like Ryuji himself, she thinks the world of her friends.]
But you're right. I'm not saying that you need to run right out there and find someone or anything, just... maybe don't be so hard on yourself?
[Love yourself a little more, Sakamoto.]
I do get what you mean. I feel the same way? I have to focus on becoming a better version of myself before I can worry about anyone else, but all the same... saying you'd be a crappy boyfriend? [She snorts lightly, and her smile returns, faint but teasing this time.] Come on. Don't talk about my friend that way.
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U...uh. Yeah. I mean. You are pretty much... like. [Love yourself and pull yourself together, Sakamoto.]
Shit, it's just. Man, why'd you have to go and make this so awkward!? C'mon, you know how I feel about you. [And whether or not he's vocalized that to her often enough is something that's entirely up in the air, but he breathes in through his nose and gives up trying to pretend to be interested in eating anymore.]
After everything we've been through, even from the beginnin', we've always been there for each other. And I don't want that to ever stop. You always makes me wanna be the best "me," y'know? That same better version you're talkin' about.
[He sure doesn't know what relationship material looks like, but Ann's reassurance goes a long way, even when he doesn't think he's anywhere near it yet. It's weird, he's always wanted to try and get a girlfriend back home, but he's pretty much come to realize that he wouldn't know what to do if he ever got one.
It's like putting an image in his head of what things ought to be like, or where he'd imagine himself being, and leaving it at just that- an image. Prone to do that with both Ann and Akira, too, a few months ahead of both of them, he's had a lot of time to think about that and why it's so wrong to begin with. And while the both of them are here with him, now... he wants to try harder.]
Alright. You're right. I'll stop beatin' myself up over it. Uhm... thanks, I got... a pretty thick skull sometimes.
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You know, that's the real reason we call you Skull.
[She drops back into her seat, and while his turning her words back on her does bring some color to her cheeks, her mood seems to have been lifted overall— she feels like he really means what he says, and she agrees. They'll always have each other's backs, even when the time of the Phantom Thieves has come to an end.]
It won't stop. I'll make sure of it.
[It's not like she has so many friends that she can afford to throw the best of them away— not that she ever would, anyway.]
We'll just keep on helping each other out, just like that. Lean on each other while we strengthen our hearts!
[Just like she'd asked Akira to help her with back home. She has a feeling that's going to be an ongoing project for a long, long time.]
Thanks for this. I don't really know why I needed it, but... I did.
[Why does talking to him always make her feel so much better, no matter the situation?]
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[He'll take those raps against the top of his head sheepishly, not fussing over it more than he absolutely has to, or swiping her hand away. This kid is still so, so touch starved, enough that even that has him leaning towards it like a puppy that just wants to be scratched behind the ears. Which is, well, it's lame, and he knows it is, but he can bear a piece of his heart to Ann like this.
They can also sit there, both cheeks red, and it would be an awful thing if someone chanced upon the both of them like this, because from the outside, it has all the verisimilitude of a date, complete with the both of them looking awkward, but determined to make it work. Which would be so, so far from the truth- they're just bonding over a mutual interest in each other, with food, speaking their truths, and... well, fuck.]
Yeah, as long as that also comes with strengthening our stomachs. [He's finally, finally starting to get sick of the protein goo that they've been shoveling into their mouths, but he's also WAY TOO GODDAMN proud to admit that. He longs for the simpler days of a buffet line with horrible adults around them who think a bunch of children have wandered into a soiree fit for kings, and, as thick as the thieves they were, could look them in the eye and tell them to stuff it. And then stuff their own faces.]
It's cool.
[He's not trying to be skillful or smooth here, like he can just casually say things like it's cool and make it happen. He just thinks... well, it's alright. If Ann needed something, he would do anything to make sure she got it. Likewise, probably, judging by the way she had just reached out and played the world's worst knock-knock joke on him.]
I... uh... I kinda needed this too.
[Thanks, Takamaki.]
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[With how worried she'd seemed at the start of this conversation, falling into their natural pattern of teasing and prodding at one another seems to have done wonders— it just feels right, like it always has. She doesn't give a second thought to what this little tableau might look like; ever since everything that happened with Kamoshida had brought them closer together, it was second nature for them to pair off, both on the job as Phantom Thieves and in everyday life. They had history, after all, and aside from Shiho—
Well, until Akira came into the picture, Ryuji was the only other person she could really consider a friend, even if she'd kept him at arm's length for a long while. She regrets that now— what would her life even be without him?
Painfully boring, probably.]
I'm all for that, too.
[She gives him a lopsided smile, glad to see he's finally seeing things her way about the food here.]
When we get back, how about we raid the temple's kitchen for all it's worth? Oooh, or better yet, we can get everyone together for a potluck dinner or something— we can't be the only ones sick of this stuff.
[But that's still a ways away. They have work to do here still, but however long they're stuck in Struxta, at least they have each other.
Her expression softens again, and she tries to shrug off the sudden pang of embarrassment she feels. Why is her face so stupidly hot?!]
Good thing we've got each other, then, isn't it?
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[He holds out his fist for a bump, since even though Ann is a girl, she'll always be someone he can be unabashedly himself around. The idea of a potluck sounds amazing, considering the slop that they've had to eat over the last while, and maybe... for once, he can bring out his secret cooking skills.
The ones he's never owned up to, since it took a lot of experimenting and charred delights that him and his mom had to eat with her pulling down two jobs and not having time to do the whole cooking thing. Which basically means he can make a mean burger or throw together a soup, but... he's doing his best.
Watching her from his "don't leave me hanging" distance, he figures things will end up alright. And maybe, sure, just a little bit... talking with her has made him realize that even though Akira and Rion dating is something he's totally cool with, he acknowledges that it's his own insecurities of being left behind that's causing him the slight discomfort of it. Which is, admittedly, dumb, because while Ann promises him that they'll always have each other, Ryuji just doesn't want to think of a world where that isn't true between the three of them.
And maybe, from his angle, he looks on to her expressively softened features, and he remembers why he absolutely adores Ann so much. She can go from calm to upbeat to reserved, angry, unsettled- all within a minute's span. And his heart rate increases a little bit over it.]
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She doesn't need them. The friends she has are worth a thousand of them, and this talk with Ryuji is as firm a reminder of that as any.]
Pow.
[She drops back into her seat, the slop on her plate now forgotten. Ryuji has that effect on people— he helps them focus on what's important. The little things, however annoying or troublesome, just don't matter anymore.]
Thanks, Skull. I'm glad you could meet me. Y'know, we've still got some time to kill before Operation: Storm— any idea how we should spend it?
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[Exchange of the brofists complete, Ryuji feels... pretty okay with life at the moment, which is all he can really ask for. There might not be a direction or a path right in front to take, but he knows the destination is going to be good... especially when you have such good friends to share that place with.
Hm... time to kill before operation: storm?
There's a few things that come to mind. He wants to show her the only yellow building in Struxta that he helped paint with his bullshit magic. Take her shopping for things to bring back to the temple, but honestly, you know what would be kind of cool right now?]
Wanna go for a motorcycle ride?
[He smiles at her proudly. Do all the stupid things.]
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Seriously?
[As fun as shopping and sightseeing would be— yeah, this is definitely better.]
Hell yeah! I only watched at the races, but I've been dying to try one!